The Super-Men (and -Women) of All-Planets

[Jim Kelly]

What goes up must come down and in 1984 (ACTION COMICS 559), after journeying through outer space, the Magic Book falls back to Earth and right through the roof of Loretta's home. She is still living in Apple Creek and now married to Alvin Grant, who is not the greatest husband.



Loretta returns to her Yellow Peri role and remembers everything from her past; unfortunately, there's no Gazook this time.



It's Alvin's scheme to profit from her magic by getting towns to pay for the Peri's anti-pollution program. The Man of Steel is not too impressed as the magic just pushes the pollution over to other towns.

[Jim Kelly]

In ACTION COMICS 567, Lois and Clark pose as newlyweds to investigate the "Paradise Pines" real estate deal in Pennsylvania. Alvin and Loretta Grant are the developers, using the Magic Book to materialize wonders for prospective buyers.



As always with Loretta's magic, there are consequences to her conjuring. When she produces a bounty of fruits and vegetables these have the side effect of making everyone speak and act on their hidden desires. Clark reveals himself as Superman and instantly wants to marry Lois and flies in a justice of the peace to do the honours.



The two say their vows, but before the j.p. can pronounce them husband and wife, Loretta objects because she wants to marry the Caped Kryptonian herself--she's had a crush on him since he was Superboy. She'll marry him as soon as she can dump that loser husband of hers.

In the end, the Man of Steel is able to check the Magic Book's spells with galena ore from the enchanted soil, at which everyone forgets what has happened and Loretta goes back to being her un-magical self.

[Jim Kelly]

The last caption of "Peri(l) in Paradise" promises that more will be revealed in a future issue, but as it's now 1985 and this universe will be gone soon, I guess that Rozakis and Schaffenberger ran out of time for more Peri parables.

Loretta does make a live action appearance, played by Elizabeth Keifer, in "Yellow Peri's Spell of Doom," THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERBOY" season 2, episode 14 (January 20th, 1990). A waitress at the sports bar on the Shuster University campus, Loretta has a crush on Superboy. At home, she summons the spirit of Gazook to take possession of a creepy doll (voiced by James Michael Detmar). Gazook transforms Loretta into the Yellow Peri and encourages her to kill Lana Lang so she can have the Boy of Steel for herself.

And in the post-Crisis comics, Peri has crashed crossover events: THE KINGDOM: PLANET KRYPTON (1998) [one of the ghosts in the bar]; 52 No. 18 (November 2006); REIGN IN HELL (2008 - 2009, eight issue series) [a supporting character in the Dr. Occult back-up feature]; JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA 41 (September 2010) [Brightest Day event--construct of the Starheart].

[Jim Kelly]

SUPERMAN 380 (February 1983)--"A Mind-Switch in Time" by Bates, Swan and Hunt; cover art by Ross Andru and Dick Giordano; on sale November 11th, 1982
THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERBOY 38 (February 1983)--1st story, "The Day That Lasted Forever" by Kupperberg and Schaffenberger; cover art by Ross Andru and Mike DeCarlo; on sale November 24th, 1982
SUPERMAN 381 (March 1983)--"Whose Super-Life is It Anyway?" by Bates, Swan and Hunt; cover art by Gil Kane; on sale December 16th, 1982
SUPERMAN 382 (April 1983)--"Where Trouble Goes--Euphor Follows" by Bates, Swan and Hunt; cover art by Gil Kane; on sale January 13th, 1983:

When Superman goes flying through the time barrier into the past, on an errand for Professor Lang to track the migration patterns of Neanderthals, the Man of Tomorrow comes upon a time-space anomaly but surges through it only to make contact with his younger self going the other way toward the future and a meeting with the Legion.



Because a person can't occupy the same place in time as a past or future self, they both momentarily become phantoms, exchange minds, before being hurled back to their original point in time.

Thus Superboy's body goes back to his own time, with Superman's mind.



And Superman's body goes back to his own time, with Superboy's mind.

In the body of Superman, the Teen of Steel has no memory of Lois Lane but naturally knows Lana Lang.



As soon as Clark sees his lovely co-anchor he's overwhelmed by Lana's beauty and woos her. Lana is still nursing a broken heart after her wedding to Vartox was called off and she's flattered by Clark's flirting.

Meanwhile, Lois is depressed when Superman treats her like a stranger. Something is wrong with him, she knows.

[Jim Kelly]

Over in the SUPERBOY book, it's Thursday and Thanksgiving (November 27th, 1969). Before his time travel experience, the Kid from Krypton had gone to the reform school where Lex Luthor is an inmate. Every year, the Boy of Steel cooks turkey dinner for the lads, to encourage them in changing their ways. But Lex is having none of it and rebels.





Adult Clark's mind in the body of his younger self is shocked to see his parents alive again and to meet all the guests who come over to the Kent house for Thanksgiving. He has no memory of this day, so everything is new to him.



But when he wakes the next morning, he discovers that it's the same day repeating. And he's unable to do anything about--he's bound to repeat the exact same actions as before.

Meanwhile, the actual day after Thanksgiving, Luthor has escaped from the reform school. It was he who created the time-loop that traps Superboy/man in the same day over and over, never able to move on to the next day.

However, the Man-Boy of Steel has figured out the solution to his Groundhog day scenario. He knows that time is a circle, so although he can never go forward in time because of the anomaly, he can fly backward in time and circle back to the next day after the loop.

Note: This tale predates the movie GROUNDHOG DAY (1993)--if they had made a movie from this comic, they could have called it THANKSGIVING DAY.

[Jim Kelly]

Back to the future, in 1982 (SUPERMAN 381), the Boy to a Man of Tomorrow revisits Smallville, but when he comes to check on his home, he finds the ex-Chief Parker now caretaker at the Kent house. The retired policeman unwittingly reveals that Jonathan and Martha are dead to the super-hero who is in reality their son, Clark Kent.



The Champion of the Oppressed is devastated by the news that his parents are gone.

Meanwhile, in Metropolis, an individual who calls himself Euphor is being interviewed in studio-B by Lana Lang. This stranger--who looks just like WONDER WOMAN 1984's Maxwell Lord--claims that he can absorb all the unhappiness and misery of others. He then proceeds to demonstrate over the air, taking away every viewers' heartache and making them feel euphoric.

While things are heating up between Lana and Clark, when Superman drops in on Ms. Lang it's a different story. She's not impressed when Lois Lane's Boy Friend makes a pass at her and Lana gives him a slap. She's not having any of his two-timing ways and she will not betray her best friend, Lois Lane. She sets him straight, letting him know just how much Lois loves him--something the Smallville Smooth-Talker had no idea about.



Euphor's absorbing power has extra features. He can use all the negative energy to transform others into monstrous versions of themselves. At a gathering in Metro Park, the guru of grief sets his disciples--those who have been wronged by the Action Ace--against the source of all their pain, Superman himself. Also at Metro Park is reporter Lois Lane and Euphor feeds upon her resentment of the Caped Kryptonian, transforming the Pride of Pittsdale into a Harridan of Hate.

[Jim Kelly]

SUPERMAN 382: Above the skies of Metropolis, as the hyper Lois chases the quarry of her contempt, she's led further and further north by the Red and Blue Blur, to the Fortress of Solitude. There, she recovers from Euphor's spell. And the body-switched Superboy tells her what really happened to him.



With the wisdom of her experience, that Lane woman tells the the Time-lost Legionnaire that Superman is probably waiting for him on the other side of the time-space anomaly. By repeating the same accident that mixed up their mind-body configuration, the two versions of Kal-El should get back to where they once belonged.



Sure enough, Lois was right. Feeling his old self again, the Man of Steel takes on Euphor. Having absorbed so much negative energy, the super-villain is now just as powerful as the Metropolis Marvel and pursues him through space and time, until they arrive at the one moment in Kal-el's life that is the source of the greatest pain for the Last Son of Krypton--the moment when the doomed planet met its end.



The flood of so much sorrow is so intense that Euphor is overloaded with negative energy. Returning to Metropolis 1982, Euphor's built up negative aura rains down on the citizens--bringing them back to their miseries.

Note: While Superman remembers his out of body experience, his younger self does not. So whatever Clark learned about his future is forgotten.

[Jim Kelly]

Next: Clark Kent's Girl Friend, Lisa Davis!

[Jim Kelly]

The Lisa Davis Experience:

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERBOY
40 (April 1983)--1st story, "Superboy No More" by Kupperberg, Schaffenberger and Giella
41 (May 1983)--1st story, "The Teen of Steel . . . for Real" by Kupperberg, Schaffenberger and Giella
42 (June 1983)--1st story, "A Blast of Dyna-Mind" by Kupperberg and Schaffenberger
43 (July 1983)--1st story, "The Forty Hour Wonder" by Kupperberg and Schaffenberger
44 (August 1983)--1st story, "The Traps That Are My Mind" by Kupperberg, Schaffenberger and Giella [behind the scenes]
45 (September 1983)--1st story, "Sunburst--Public Enemy #1" by Kupperberg, Saviuk and Schaffenberger
46 (October 1983)--1st story, "Land of the Rising Sunburst" by Kupperberg, Saviuk and Schaffenberger [behind the scenes]
47 (November 1983)--1st story, "The Secret of Sunburst" by Kupperberg, Saviuk and Schaffenberger [behind the scenes]
48 (December 1983)--1st story, "One Super-Power Too Many" by Kupperberg and Schaffenberger
49 (January 1984)--1st story, "Zatara's Magical Mystery Tour" by Kupperberg, Schaffenberger and Hunt
50 (February 1984)--"Dial V for Villain" by Kupperberg, Giffen, Schaffenberger and Hunt
52 (April 1984)--"The Caveman of Smallville" by Kupperberg and Schaffenberger [behind the scenes]
53 (May 1984)--To Slay a Superboy" by Kupperberg, Schaffenberger and Giella [behind the scenes]
54 (June 1984)--The Dumbbell That Saved the Earth" by Kupperberg, Schaffenberger and Giella

[Jim Kelly]

The Teen of Steel encounters an alien spaceship above Earth. The crew are from the planet Hjlln in the Vgahrt galaxy. Although Superboy is suspicious, the commander of the ship, N'll, convinces the Caped Kryptonian that they are peaceful.



In his identity as Clark Kent, he's determined to ask Debbie Wallach to the school dance, but she turns him down flat; however, there is another girl--Lisa Davis--who would be more than glad to be on Clark's arm.



Later, Martha Kent and then Clark both demonstrate odd behaviour. That Kent boy becomes a bully and gives up the super-hero act.

[Jim Kelly]

Clarkie comes on to Debbie and gives her a smooch on the lips, which convinces the popular girl to go out with the nerd turned jock. Lisa is crestfallen that her heartthrob is like all the other boys.

Then young Kent tries out for the football team.



But the Kid from Krypton, in a moment of lucidity, realizes he was infected with microbes from the Hjlln aliens--which must have also affected Martha. This has worn down his resistance to the aliens transforming him from human to robot, so they may command him to launch weapons against their alien enemies through a warp in space.



Having given his body a metallic sheen, the Teen of Steel dupes N'll into believing his robotic plot has been successful. Then turning the tables on the Hjlln, he sends their spacecraft through the warp, back to their home galaxy.

The Smallville Samaritan plants an item in the newspaper that explains Clark and Martha's weird behaviour as the result of an alien infection. Debbie Wallach is not impressed, but Lana Lang calls Clark's attention to Lisa Davis who is completely into him. This begins an ongoing romance between Clark and Lisa in the issues to follow.

[Jim Kelly]

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES 300 (June 1983)--"The Future is Forever" (First Vision) by Levitz, Giffen, Schaffenberger [alternate timeline]:

Over in LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES (June 1983), the title celebrates reaching No. 300--of course, in reality, this comic started out in 1949 as SUPERBOY. To honour that fact, the resident Superboy artist, Kurt Schaffenberger illustrates a Superboy chapter in the extra-sized anniversary issue.



However, the continuity here doesn't jibe with any versions of Superboy and the Legion. In this one Superboy gives up his membership in the teen team, after the death of Ma and Pa Kent--yet Lyle Norg (the original Invisible Kid) is still alive and well. So this is just an alternate reality of some kind.

[Jim Kelly]

Clark and Lisa are at the high school fall formal in THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERBOY 42 (June 1983)--



--when Kent gets punked by Bash Bashford and Johnny Webber.



Later, as the sophomores view a meteor shower, the space rocks (including one Red Kryptonite specimen) give Johnny mental powers and he becomes Dyna-Mind--able to do all sorts of mental mojo. While Clark experiences a mojo of a different kind with Lisa.

[Jim Kelly]

At the county fair, Clark wins a bear for Lisa (which resembles Gazook). Naturally, the young Kent's hero hobby gets in the way of his love life.



But though Lisa is disapponted in him, she comes around to forgiving him, in the next issue.



Still, she has her suspicions that there's more to Clark than he lets on.

[Jim Kelly]

Johnny Webber is able to sucker the Super-Sap with a hard luck tale, blaming his villainy on red K.

Issue 44's cover is a (misleading) Battle of the Titans courtesy of Gil Kane.



Johnny escapes a criminal sentence (then later uses his mental powers to remotely stage a fight between the Teen of Steel and "Neptune"). And Lisa's father, Malcolm Davis, pressures Jonathan Kent into running for town council, the consequences of which will build through the following issues.