Write your own crazy Marvel spoiler Retcon!

[AdamFTF]

Balder's real father is Odin. It makes Thor his half-brother.

Didn't they do that one back during Straczynski's run?

[Cloudman]

Every superhero and supervillain is secretly a lizard.

Except the Lizard, who is secretly a rabbit.

[The Negative Zone]

Every superhero and supervillain is secretly a lizard.

Except the Lizard, who is secretly a rabbit.

This reminds of the Marvel Age Spider-Man comic which retold classic Spider-Man stories for all age readers in which we saw a rabbit with reptilian DNA.

[leokearon]

Here are a couple:

Ben Reilly is the real spider-man and peter parker is the clone, however Osborn used a device to make Ben think he was Peter and Peter think he was Ben, Therefore the Spider-man going around is actually Ben Reilly thinking he is Peter.
Spider Skull was the real Spider-man, ben and Peter are both clones
Peter Palmer is the Real Spider-man
The Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver's parents are Natalia Maximoff and Bova
The Vision was built by Howard Stark to be a brother for Tony, therefore the Vision's brain pattern's are based on Arno's Not Wonderman

[ElliotJA]

Odin has actually been Mephisto the whole time.

Thor killed the Judeo-Christian God.

Hercules is actually Thor's brother.

Bruce Banner/Hulk is really an Inhuman.

Wolverine killed Cyclops years ago out of jealousy over Jean; the Cyclops who exists now is really a clone.

[kaimaciel]

Thor is really a Frost Giant switched at birth by Laufey. The real son of Odin was raised as an Jotun named Helblindi.

Professor X can walk, but he's really lazy. Also, he's been having a secret affair with Magneto for over 40 years.

Jane Foster is a clone mixed with Thor's DNA. The real Jane is still married and taking care of her son.

Thor and Loki are lovers.

[Icefalcon]

Tony Stark is actually the 4th Summers brother

[Nelson]

Nico Minoru's magic is not activated by bleeding but powered by blood, the more she bleeds the more powerful she becom...oh wait, Dennis Hopeless did this.
Chase Stein's parents didn't abuse him, they were just strict and mean spirited but never hit him...oh wait, Hopeless again.
Nico still loves Alex Wilder and never got over him, despite him trying to drag her into creepy Adam and Eve plot, planning to kill all her friends, including Molly and threatening to burn Karolina alive if she won't comply...oh wait, Hopeless did that too.
Hazmat is not angry because her powers prevent her from having normal life and forced to wear a protective suit and live in a special room to not kill everyone around her with radiation, she was always just angry... Hopeless was here.

[Somehero23]

So, Xavier is pulling a Spidey move and is slowly taking over the Red Skull clone's body, thus activating a mutation in the clone's body (camouflage). For added effect, he tossed that consciousness into a patient stuck in a vegetated state for good measure.
The whole Secret Wars aftermath also forced several not so liked characters into the 616 world like Sad Old Summers (a version of Cyclops who fell into a depress state after losing Jean to Wolverine. Luckily, he is a great BBQ chef).
Arno Stark is actually fully mobile, is actually Tony's cousin, and like trolling him on message boards and Twitter.

[Somehero23]

Okay one more...

Somewhere in the world, there is a human Scott Summers that is married to a mutant Mary Jane Watson with child on the way, teenage Franklin Richards who does not have a realty warping powers but is instead a techno-path, and dare I say it...Goblin Thor.

[Wiccan]

he's been having a secret affair with Magneto for over 40 years.

Thor and Loki are lovers.

I'm all up for that. Do it Marvel. I'm not even joking.

[Doctor Know]

Jane Foster is able to wield Thor's hammer not because she's "worthy", but because Mjlonir is a sucker for the babes and enjoys "empowering" women.

http://doctor-know.tumblr.com/post/9...hy-jane-foster

[Flash Gordon]

The real Peter Parker is happily married with kids, living under a different name in Portland. He works as a stone mason, and blows glass on the side which he sells on etsy. He gave up being Spider-Man years ago, but retains his powers. The guy that's been doing it is just a clone like Ben Reilly. Miles Morales is also a clone.

Tony Stark knows this. The whole "billionaire Peter Parker" is just a way for Tony to hide assets. "Peter Parker" never really started a company. A faux company under a fictional man (who has vague memories of another dude's life).

[Johnny Peril]

Frank Castle was secretly a crime boss and when his family found out he killed them and adopted the Punisher identity to cover it up.


Squirrel Girl is really a squirrel that was bitten by a radioactive human.


Doom didn't destroy the Beyonders, Chuck Norris did.


Namor rejected Sue Storm so she married Reed on the rebound.


A Kree time traveler crash landed on Earth in 1982 where he was helped by Captain(Monica Rambeau)Marvel. Upon returning to his own time in the 1940's he decided to name his firstborn Mar-Vell out of gratitude

[totalsellout]

reed richards is actually a total moron. all his "science" is just imagined gobbledy gook. he is a mutant with reality warping powers that make all his "experiments" and "discoveries" work, and his imagination is single handedly responsible for all the weird science based superheroes from the 60's. that's also why franklin has reality warping powers. valeria is a true genius, and some day the entire mcu will be wiped away by her debunking all her father's dumbassed science.