
Originally Posted by
Rob London
Oh Betty. Of all of Peter's supporting cast members, you've had the worst life.
Your terrible brother started things off - thanks to him, your mom ended up in a coma, you had to quit school to work for J. Jonah Jameson, and then he got murdered in front of you, which started the ball rolling on ending your relationship with Peter Parker.
But that's okay, because you ended up marrying Ned Leeds. Good old reliable Ned Leeds. Sure, you were engaged forever, and then your wedding was attacked by crummy super villain Mirage, but once you got married, things would be okay, right? Well, no, because Ned was always busy, so you ended up cheating on him first with Peter Parker, and then Flash Thompson. Meanwhile, Ned was off getting brainwashed by Roderick Kingsley into playing Hobgoblin, which didn't help your marriage much, either. And then he got his throat cut in Berlin, leaving you widowed and believing that your husband was secretly a criminal mastermind for years.
It's totally understandable if that made you go a little crazy. So sure, you joined an evil cult. But then you went back to the Bugle, and you became a reporter, and things were actually going okay for a while! Except for that time when you owned a bunch of guns and had to fight FACADE. But still, for you, that's not bad. But then you started things up again with Flash, and it went about as well as a relationship with a burgeoning alcoholic with severe unresolved daddy issues could be expected to go. And that was mostly pretty good, for you! Until he ended up in a coma. And then he lost his legs. And then he secretly became Venom. And then your brother turned out to be both not-dead and also super evil, and tried to kill Flash and get all Flowers in the Attic with you. So yeah, Flash killed him. That was pretty much it for Flash and you.
But hey, you've still got your career. You even stayed at the Bugle when a whole bunch of other people quit, thanks to Dexter Bennett, who managed to be a worse boss than J. Jonah Jameson. Too bad that made everyone who left hate you. In fact, when you finally got a spotlight issue of Amazing Spider-Man, it was all about how all your friends hate you except for Peter - who, despite being a professional flake, is easily your most constant friend and confidant.
So keep reaching for that rainbow, Betts. At least Elizabeth Banks is awesome.