I think that the reason it's still a subject of such debate is that people are not viewing it as a private conversation. I honestly think people view the reader as the one Bobby being exposed to being the source of most of the anger about it. And hey, to each there own triggers, but yeah, the best argument people have here is that Jean evesdropped telepathically, but for years we know that telepaths do this on accident all the time and Jean was also a teen so, yeah.
I'm sure it also didn't help that HOW it was written could easily come across as Jeen using her TP to MAKE him so. I recall more than a few jokes in that regard when that issue released. The whole reveal needed a significantly better writer than Bendis to manage it, especially with how he was writing Jeen in general throughout the whole book.
It really really doesn't. That's a completely dumb and ludicrous idea. That interpretation was mostly being pushed by homophobes in denial and Jeen haters because of what she did with Angel. But changing someone's mind about staying/leaving and "MAKING THEM GAY" are obviously not similar at all, both in how she would do such in-story and on a meta level of Marvel allowing that to be written. There are (arguably? objectively? not sure) many problems with the scene and the way the reveal was handle, but that was NOT one of them.
Well, I've been very consistent that "telepathic eavesdropping" is narratively terrible; writers should really stop using it in most cases, and it definitely shouldn't have been used in this one. Jeen being a teen is a flimsy excuse at best, the conclusion was thought up and Jeen was used to reach it.
Does it need doing?
Yes.
Then it will be done.