October 21
After missing a few nights because I've just been falling asleep at ten, and than falling asleep during the comedically bad opening of The Colossus of New York, I managed to watch some horror movies tonight. Thing is they turned out to be MADMAN and Hell Night, neither are movies I've really heard of before, and after watching them I see way. Neither has much of anything going off it, these are those movies that get released in whatever year, and by the next nobody really cares.
But before talking about those two movies it's back to Colossus. This movie did things so stupid in the part I saw that you could just left them as comedy gags if you were intentionally making something as if it was and unintentionally hilarious movie. Colossus has one foot in the old and one foot in the new in maybe the funniest way I've ever seen. You know how in older movies they'll leave a newspaper or somethings one screen for a good long while so everyone has time to read it? Well Colossus does that, and than when it's done doing that a character just reads the page allowed. What the hell was the point of putting the paper on the screen so long if you're just going to than read the page? You don't even need to show the headline if you're going to have someone read it, I'll take your word on it movie that this guy isn't just making how a headline. It's so dumb I'd almost think it was meant to be funny, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't. When the movie opens its these three guys watching a very boring reel of what looks like an assembly line, like the kind of thing you'd see in an education factory film, they're watching it with this kid, and the kid is really into. In fact the kid demand to get back to the movie when it stops, which is maybe the only time a child has ever demand such a thing keeps going. After some talk about how these two guys are geniuses that paper thing happens, they talk about how one of them is getting the peace prize, and then there's another page saying he returning home from getting the award. What? Turns out the whole opening was pointless, this paper telling use he's returning from picking up the Peace Prize could have been the opening of the movie and it would have saved anyone from watch four or five minutes of nothing. There's some airplane footage, the prize winners dad tells use how smart his son is, (further making the opening pointless) and than something wonderful happens. This bit was so stupid I couldn't believe it. Our genius Peace Prize winner running in traffic chasing a ball like a small child or dog and gets hit my a truck. This was hilarious, and it was made all the funnier because they undercranked the footage for of the man running some reason, like they couldn't just get the action to run or something. Shortly after this I got more interested in getting really comfortable on the couch than them putting his brain in a robot body and off to la la land I went. I did wake up for a moment to a robot doing something, but back to sleep I went.
Now on to the movies I actually watched.
Madman. Madman kind of feels like a porno company tried making a normal movie, sadly it doesn't feel like this because it's full of sex. After the open credits accompanied by music I can only really describe as stereotypical '80 porno Halloween music, we get what seems like the lamest camp counselor singing a "scary" song, while doing so we it flashes how the people he's singing to being killed. Than another counselor tells a very bad story about a local ledgend that's this movies killer, his name, Madman...Madman Marz. Mostly this movie is pretty uninterestingly, and everyone is pretty bad in. But there are times where the director is trying to get artsy where are pretty funny. There's a lot of stupid dialogue that's pretty funny. There's a hot tub scene that needs to be seen to be believed, it's so weird that I while watching it I just wonder if anyone involved in the scene raised any questions about it with the director.
There were a few good things. The FX are all good. It does a good job of selling just how strong this superhuman killer is. There's this one panning shot with the killer in silhouette in the foreground following someone that's really good. The main character accidentally shoots one of their friends in the face when she's scared because of the killer, that's something you don't see much, it was actually a surprise and funny moment.
It's not a good movie, but there's enough here that's funnier to make it not regrettable that you've scene.
Hell Night. This is one of those movies in which teens stay the night in notorious house (the last movie had one of those too, in fact the crime there is basically The Amityville Horror) where people were said to be killed, and not the house is a haunted house, oooo, spooky. If you see just one movie this October like that, probably see Night of the Demons—the original one. This movie was pretty average, not really bad, but doesn't really stand out. It does have Linda Blair in it
This movie also has good FX in it. It doesn't really have any really cool kills, but what it does do it does well.
The monster also looks into camera as he's dying, it almost feel as if he's saying: Really?
It's kind of interesting seeing these kind of things now, these not very good movies that still have the veneer of professionalism. If these were made today I can only imagine it would be shot on some cheap digital camera, (and look it) have digital blood that looks like a bad gif, it might have terrible rock or metal soundtrack, and have actors that make you think it was really nice the directors friends helped him make a movie.