Digest Archive

[Brian Cronin]

6-19-2009

"[Meltzer] kept saying in interviews that IC was going to be a 'love letter to the silver age.'

A love letter featuring a brutal, on-panel, fetishized rape, and DC characters in the roles of the Squardon Supreme (OH IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OF THE FANS HAVE READ IT).

That's the kind of love letter a stalker sends."
~ Typo Lad




Dreadstar: "Crap. Goddammed sock-puppet, crawling out of my desk like that. Back, dammit! Back, I say!"
Slam_Bradley: "At least it wasn't Atitude Man."
jessecuster3: "I haven't seen Agent Helix post today."




"I only read phonebooks with aardvarks and misogyny."
~ Ed Cunard




rajincajun689: "Millar versus Loeb? Well that's a no-brainer."
Agent Helix: "Yes, I agree. No brains are involved in this AT ALL."




"I am both happy and sad, Like a mini wheat."
~ Mac Danny




Spike-X: "And where's the not-even-slightly-veiled homoeroticism?"
FunkyGreenJerusalem: "In your pants!"




"There may be one or two in the fridge with my name on it.

If I spell my name Sierra Nevada, for instance."
~ Paul McEnery




"My turn on's are leotards, leg warmers and KA-RA-TE but not necessarily in that order."
~ pete repeat




Athena Bast: "What's the female equivalent for dipping your pen in the company ink?"
Agent Helix: "Being the company ink."




"Kiss my ass!

PS: I love you guys!!"
~ jdwrocks




Spike-X: "You should get another cat and call her Tennille."
Cayman: "I'm afraid Muskrat Love would be the result."




"You're trying to ascribe rational motives to irrational people.

You realise that's irrational, don't you?"
~ Spike-X




"Not for nothing, but I hate the term 'mouthbreather'. I breathe through my mouth all the time. Deviated septum from a biking accident when I was nine and I accidentally started going down a hill and couldn't remember how to stop so I ran into a barn.

Which would kind of back up the 'mouthbreather' definition, now that I think about it."
~ Matt Algren




"Boredom is the Devil's X-box."
~ Ray R.




"For a convoluted reason, I now have Night Ranger in my head.

But at least it pushed out Billy Joel."
~ K'Nort

"Tages brought the thingy
the one, in the scotch with the L
Laphroingin?
Oh the hell."

~ Rallura




"Holiday highlight: I've now seen a woman squeeze a frog out of her vagina. And also smoke an entire cigarette with it! Her vagina that is, not the frog..."
~ Asmith




"I won't let twitter make a twat out of me."
~ jesse_custer




Slam_Bradley: "I now want a pulp hero named Cliff Hanger."
jesse_custer: "And how about his [apparently] twin sidekick, Not My Favorite Ending?"




Michael P: "You ever have an article of clothing you know you're never going to wear, but you can't really get rid of it because of who gave it to you?"
Deadpooligan: "Yes.

Incidentally, it's a thong with a Hooters logo emblazoned on the front."




"I'm guessing I'm not the only one here who'd have to admit to knowing more about fictional metal than actual brains."
~ Donald M.




"By overcoming your hatred of whales to watch the movie, you let a little bit of Starfleet into your heart."
~ Sean Whitmore




"I pay each month to have Cronin send me CDs of varous threads being read aloud.
You'd be surprised how eloquent Jeremy A. Patterson sounds when being read by Sir Ian McKellan."
~ HomerJay




"I also saw someone say he wasn't going to drink Mountain Dew anymore because he didn't like the new logo. I had to stop and make sure I wasn't in a Star Trek thread."
~ Matt Algren




"Shitty TV doesn't unshitify anything."
~ Joe Rice




i_mmmchocolate: "I'm going to slab you."
Ray R.: "Careful, I'm in mint condition."




jessecuster3: "What you read, sucks!"
jesse_custer: "Remember, I'm reading your post right now."




"In space nobody can hear you ****."
~ Slam Bradley




"Are you on Twitter? I'd like to subscribe to your 140 character-or-less newsletter."
~ Ray R.




"One really good thing about having my daughter is my mom stopping referring to my sister's cat as her grandchild."
~ 01pickelboy




Tom: "As if my life wasn't strange enough: I'm interviewing Cagney & Lacey tomorrow."
Loren: "Not Lacey Chabert, I'm guessing."




GozertheGozarian: "What's a theatre?"
thespianphryne: "What's a dumbass?"




gary bolt: "Are your trying to motivate me through the internets?"
Squirrel: "Better than trying to motivate you through your interal organs.

Less messy, too."




jessecuster3: "That is totally hilarious that there will be a Kung Fu Hustle video game."
StoneGold: "Your hilarity threshold is low."




Crowforge: "Where should I move to be more attractive? Because it isn't working here."
StoneGold: "Well, it's dark in Alaska for half the year..."




"Comics are like women, a lot of them are rubbish, but the ones that are good are freaking awesome."
~ FunkyGreenJerusalem




Chris Nowlin: "At first glance, I always think there's a thread about an Iranian erection."
Gilda Dent: "You're a fan of Persian architecture? It can be quite impressive."




DoctorDoom: "So then you're just happy? Woo hoo!"
Michael P: "Law of averages said it had to happen eventually."
DoctorDoom: "Break out the Cream of Wheat!"




"I didn't realize Palin was still so newsworthy. Don't people know that Batman is dead? Someone should inform the news stations."
~ Fabian




Chris Nowlin: "So Athena... if you do leave this guy and I end up leaving my current strangling relationship, I can't help but notice that we'd both be single..."
Athena Bast: "Do you have health care?"




"'I love early Harold Ramis, but I've never seen Stripes'???

'Oh I love the work of Da Vinci, never seen the Mona Lisa'!
'I love rock music, but I've never heard of Led Zepplin'!
'I love sex... never knew you could do it with someone else'!"
~ FunkyGreenJerusalem




Paradox: "I find it best to have very limited contact and interaction with people who don't know what the **** they're talking about."
Nick Soapdish: "And yet you continue to post here ..."

[Brian Cronin]

8-26-2009

"Black Cat is returning. What to name the storyarc? Well, they recently had a Back in Black story, so why not homage the title and call this Back in Black Cat.

From the censors that approved Giant-Sized Man-Thing."
~ Chris Nowlin




Paul McEnery: "Hate is also a good mixer, though it goes best with gin."
Tadhg: "Gin and hate upset my stomach."
Expletive Deleted: "How about whiskey and depression?"
Tadhg: "Now that's my favorite mixer."





gary bolt: "Does Coke have a shelf life?"
Spike-X: "I think it has a half-life."




"It's good to be going out with someone who doesn't even know what a furry is."
~ Joe Rice




GHalecki: "Could you tell me where the phrase 'Life, Liberty, and the Persuit of Happiness' comes from?"
Nick Soapdish: "There's something like it in the Declaration of Independence, but it's spelled a bit differently."




"Certain people seek to disparage my friends and I, simply due to the fact that we lead an active social life.
The activities they engage in appear distant and aloof.
I'm afraid that I'd prefer to die young, rather than becoming like them.
I'm talking about my generation; in broad terms, naturally. These criteria certainly don't apply equally to each and every person in my general age group, but seem more prevalent according to my observations.

I'm sure I'd rather you (and here, I'm addressing the 'certain people' I mentioned earlier, by which I mean the older generation) all remove yourselves from my presence.
Please, I'd rather you not attempt to copy the style and manner of speech which I and my friends tend to adopt.
I'm not trying to be objectionable or cause a 'ruckus', however, I'd rather discuss people who are similar to myself in both age and social standing.

(As an aside: this seems rather odd, as I have, thus far, not actually been talking about such people, but rather, have primarily been dwelling on my objection to the preceding generation.)

In all honesty, I don't think I really have anything further to say. I'm afraid that any further discussion of the issue would probably result in simple repetition of any issues raised to this point.

I'm complaining about the previous generation.
I'm complaining about the previous generation, baby."
~ Pól Rua




"Joe Jackson was reached for comment and said, 'That kid is not my son.'"
~ Fabian




SUPERECWFAN1: "At 15 , I wanted the hot girl in school to show me her breasts."
Fabian: "40,218 posts and this is the 1st time I can relate to you."




Typo Lad: "What are you growing?"
Paradox: "Old."




"I am so well defined culturally that I shock myself. Now I shall go sip some fine vintage Strawberry Koolaid and slip off to bed watching Vince McMahon make people kiss his ass on TV!"
~ SUPERECWFAN1




"Next to the black joker, you're probably the youngest regular poster here."
~ Fabian




"Music isn't shoes, it's oxygen."
~ Jonathan Bogart




jessecuster3: "Khakis or slacks?"
Tadhg: "If I get to choose, Capri."




Fabian: "I hear you're the Great Wall of China of Cockblocking."
Paul McEnery: "You can see him do it from the Moon!"




"I knew I was right. I knew sooner or later I would be right about something."
~ o1pickleboy




"Hot, dumb, and rich...the TMZ trifecta."
~ moebius




cosmic cat: "what the hell is a marionberry?"
Tadhg: "The coke-head former mayor of DC?"




"I am pleased that I have taken your anticipated amusement and ground it into the grimy paste of disillusion."
~ Paul McEnery




"I never realized there was a whole world outside my limited experience.

Now I just feel like a backwards hick, masturbating to Neon Genesis Evangelion."
~ Sean Whitmore




Donald M.: "You know, I don't even get why this thread exists.

With Samurai gone, does this mean the boards' other conservative douchebags are gonna step up to fill the gap?"
Sean Whitmore: "Either that, or Sam's ghost is possessing other posters and attacking through them.

Poor bugger. First attempt at it and he gets himself stuck in a retard."




"Axl maybe an ******* , but he doesn't molest children!"
~ SUPERECWFAN1




Thadeus Thunderwinkle: "Can someone please remind me why I agreed to go on a five-mile run in the morning?"
Michael P: "You're an idiot?"




"This thread has been very helpful. I am beginning to understand how a shitty movie like Transformers 2 can still pull in huge amounts of money."
~ Shellhead




"I live in a small town full of tone deaf retards. Bad music is in my culture."
~ o1pickleboy




Typo Lad: "Is man even capable of being utterly subjective?"
Loren: "Maybe. Maybe not."




"If you drink water while you pee it feels like you are flossing your insides."
~ Mac Danny




"The more ass crack I see, the more I want to stick little flags in the gap."
~ Athena Bast




"Look at that. The idiot has evolved into a troll. Evolutionary proof."
~ thehod




DoctorDoom: "Did you just try to advertise? To me?"
Paul McEnery: "Wouldn't be the first time."




"American TV news is the airport novel of information."
~ Paul McEnery




"Paul's banned? Must be Monday."
~ Chris Nowlin




"Wait! Michael Jackson is DEAD?"
~ atoningunifex




"i'm a half jew, but i knew a christian once. i'll speak on his behalf."
~ vcassel




Paradox: "One squaw, one trouble. Two squaws, two troubles."
Tages: "Bigamy is one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."




DoctorDoom: "Double Jeopardy?"
Michael P: "Anyone who pays for an Ashley Judd movie a second time deserves what they get."




"That's the saddest list I've seen since my virgin friend's girlfriend list."
~ Joe Rice




"It doesn't matter who posted the picture, you can still jack off to it."
~ Donald M.




howyadoin: "What the hell is a poll dance?"
Michael P: "Sounds like a way to keep white people from voting."




"You probably don't hear this too often, Typo, but damn you remind me of an old girlfriend.

We were walking around town and I said, 'wow you're really sweating'.
She: 'Horses sweat, women glow'
About to be single again me: 'Well you're glowing like a horse!'"
~ Asmith




Justin D.: "Wow, just found out that John Hughes died of a heart attack today."
Ray R.: "Don't you forget about me. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't."




"Wildcat has an unexplained origin, someone alert Geoff Johns!"
~ Mac Danny




"You're acting like a climate change denialist."
~ Paul McEnery




"If I can't drink it, what's the point?"
~ StoneGold




Cayman: "Am I smart enough to figure out Ubuntu?"
Donald M.: "I don't know, how are you with African languages?"




"You have major problems if you think referencing Timecop is cool."
~ Royal

[Brian Cronin]

10-27-2009

01pickleboy: "I have and if your near mermaid and me. well I am sorry for her because you so are bend over."
Mermaid: "the english version of this would have really helped."




LewMoxinsghost: "The last thing we need is a Goofy / Wolverine team-up."
Slam_Bradley: "Wolverine has teamed up with so many goofy characters already that it shouldn't make any difference."




"Let's call this new age the Goddamn Rape Age, to enshrine forever DC's bold move in direction and for evermore proving that comics are not for kids."
~ Asmith




Lone Ranger: "When I was in high school, I worked at a sleepover summer camp about 2 hours north of Toronto.

We had a lot of international campers looking for the Canadian experience."
Ray R.: "'The Canadian experience.'

I.e., Tim Horton's and an apology."




K'Nort: "So there were pole dancers (with poles) being towed around Manhattan this week. Performing as they glided through traffic."
Tadhg: "Was there a reason?"
Paradox: "Does there have to be?"




"When I was telling my cousin about the Marvel-Disney thing, I made him guess who bought Marvel.

'Here's a hint...he's black and has big ears.'

'Martin Lawrence?' "
~ Doctor Doom




"Lightning does not strike in the same place twice.

That hasn't stopped filmmakers from running around in rainstorms, waving their official Blair Witch metal rods!"
~ Donald M.




Punchy: "I was in Chicago over the weekend and found the greatest jazz record shop in the country."
Adam C: "I'm curious as to the name of this shop."
Punchy: "It's got quite a clever name. The Jazz Record Shop."




"Excuse me, good sir. I wonder if you'd mind taking your sales pitch elsewhere, as none of us have the slightest interest in whatever it is you're attempting to sell to us."
~ Spike-X




"You're just running your own flag up the pole of hyperbole again."
~ Paradox




"I used to see ads like that a lot back when they were new. AdBlock has since learned to deal with them, and I think Flashblock helps too. Between the two of them, ads of any kind are as rare as straight Dazzler fans."
~ Michael P




01pickleboy: "Repressed Daddy issues and a strong madonna whore complex"
Michael P: "I tell you, that phrase made a lot more sense once I learned that "madonna" also meant the Virgin Mary."




Athena Bast: "It never occurred to me that Larry Hama could be Asian."
Spike-X: "Not only that, but Ralph Macchio looks nothing like the Karate Kid!"




"Why we have helmet laws for motorcycle riders, but not for Republicans, I'll never know."
~ Mr.Ez




"Sounds like you're just talking out of your Anthony Sydney Smith again."
~ Chris Nowlin




jessecuster3: "So I had these amazing things called heirloom pickles."
Cayman: "Are they passed down from generation to generation?

Can you take them on Antiques Roadshow?"




"At least Paul isn't off on one of his Tao-ist Alister Crowely was the coyote of change thingy-me-bob rants."
~ Asmith




Athena Bast: "I need a get out of jail free card or something."
Michael P: "If I'd been rolling as long as you have and not hit doubles, I'd just pay the $50 and proceed along St. Charles Place."




"It's something Japanese.
I think it's something Japanese.
I really think so.

...

Excuse me, I seem to have come down with The Vapours."
~ Pól Rua




Donald M.: "Strange game. The only winning move is not to play."
jessecuster3: "How about a nice game of chess?"




"In space, no one can hear you being an *******."
~ Donald M.




Mermaid: "gotta go, my Brah's here."
Cam63: "Well, put it on... We won't look "
Mermaid: "promise?

I might be shy........."
Cam63: "One doubts it !"




"Howy's meat is fearsome indeed!"
~ Alex L




"Excuse me ma'am, are you a globe trotting floozy? Then we've got the poll for you."
~ fly on the wall




"How is Aquaman not chronically Pruny?"
~ Mac Danny




"I can't take a guy running around in a purple leotard serious.
Maybe if he had a cape."
~ Alex




"Whenever I see a new 3D movie come out, I think of Count Floyd."
~ Donald M.




DoctorDoom: "I have a date this Friday."
Chris Nowlin: "I can't help but notice this date is with somebody other than me. Why is that?"
Mac Danny: "Distance, Odor, take your pick."




StoneGold: "So apparently there are rules now against 'snarkiness'."
Donald M.: "Well ****, time to close up the internet and go home. Was fun while it lasted."




Joe Rice: "The internet is weird."
Spike-X: "Let's keep it that way."




thespianphryne: "New Yankee Stadium has heated seats."
Michael P: "Unfortunately, many of those seats contain Yankee fans."




Michael P: "I've got an old 3.5'' floppy that's formatted for use with a Mac. How would I go about retrieving the files thereon?"
Nick Soapdish: "First, you build a time machine ..."

[Brian Cronin]

1-1-2010

"When people on the X-Board say something got better, what they mean is 'My designated C-List fetish character showed up and was properly jerked off by the writer.'"
~ Michael P




"It's coming inside the house!"
~ Paradox




Spike-X: "Wicked lightning storm here tonight. Been going for a couple of hours. The kids loved it."
Pól Rua: "Soon they'll be old enough for graverobbing. Oh it's a precious time in a young mad scientist's life."




DoctorDoom: "Never play the fool. You'll lose the game. "
Paradox: "Everybody plays the fool, sometime.

There's no exception to the rule.

Listen, baby!"




Pól Rua: "Yeah, and the rest of the books help further the stereotype that comics are for screwed-up, socially retarded, sexually immature adults who reek of piss and sweat and spend their time masturbating to photos of Kitty Pryde cosplayers on the net."
jonah warlord: "I've been looking for something to write in my "Tiny Titans" Christmas cards..."




"Gods, I love hearing about how you White Male Middle-Class Christians are so fucking oppressed.
Get off the fucking cross. Your saviour isn't a jungle gym for you to play on."
~ Pól Rua




"Having foreskin makes sex different because it starts with your partner looking at your dick like an Ikea bookshelf with no instructions."
~ Mac Danny




Michael P: "Well, Jeopardy is pre-empted so ABC can masturbate over human tragedy, and I'm officially in one of my moods."
DoctorDoom: "Because Jeopardy's not on? You're easily riled.

I must make a note to kidnap Alex Trebek."




Athena Bast: "Not only are they making a live action/CG hybrid Yogi Bear movie.... they've got Dan Ackroyd as Yogi.

And Justin Timberlake as Boo Boo."
GozertheGozarian: "We can expect to see My Dick in a Picnic Basket on the soundtrack."




Michael P: "God dammit, it's cold."
o1pickleboy: "Well get out of Hilary Clinton's vagina then"




"It's an enlightened age we live in where men with **** don't just have to stay home all day and play with their moobs. Now they can vote, drive cars, even be captains of industry. And if they want to put their career on hold while they stay at home to eat fried chicken, well hey, that's okay to!"
~ Asmith




riddler72: "I would like to change my username!How does one go about it??"
Matt: "Through the usage of rudimentary reading skills."




"Yeah, when I was in college, plenty of people claimed to be asexual but were actually just Smiths fans."
~ K'Nort




Chris Nowlin: "Does that mean I'm not getting laid?"
o1pickleboy: "You would do better at it if you weren't following 'Paradox's guide to getting Nookie'."




Paradox: "It's appropriate and typically American! We're talking about a food stuffed inside a food stuffed inside a food."
Loren: "Indeed. Myself, I prefer turduckephant."




"I trust these people as far as I can throw their extended cab, four wheel drive pickup."
~ Puma




StoneGold: "Looks like you picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. "
Paradox: "Surely you can't be serious.

There's a sale at Penny's!"




Michael P: "Dammit, CBR! Stop being more fun than homework!"
Cayman: "Solution: Visit the Spider-Man board."




"This mustard! It's driving us apart! I'm just a doctor, Jim!"
~ Ray R.




Guapo Méndez: "They did remove the stupidest part of the book."
Michael P: "What, the bit with all the words?"




"Cloning is like the Disco of comic book plot gimmicks."
~ fly on the wall




Spike-X: "Sheesh. Tough room."
Mermaid: "If you're here all week I might change venues."




"If her eyes were any further apart they'd be on two other people's heads..."
~ Asmith




arp2008: "Do you have the urge to harm yourself the longer you spend online?"
Sean Whitmore: "Depends what board I'm on."




"I reject your assertion that Shia LaDouche and Stick with **** are 'real people'."
~ Pól Rua




o1pickleboy: "So I have been flirting with Megan for a few days now, then her sister and me start talking in Megan's IM. They switch back and forth without telling me. I have no idea which one is coming over tomorrow."
Michael P: "If they'd had the Internet in Elizabethan England, Shakespeare would have written a plot like this."




DoctorDoom: "So... Ghost Rider took out Galactus.

The 90's were weird."
Reptisaurus!: "That's sad. He used to be the embodiment of an angry God's wrath and now it's all 'Dangit, we got Galactuses again. Let me get the rake.'"




DoctorDoom: "Sit by the fireplace!"
Royal: "Fireplace?"
Spike-X: "A recessed hole in an interior wall where a fire is lit, thereby heating the room."
Michael P: "But that's not important right now."




vcassel: "Spike-X, how's that Beez Neez beer?"
Spike-X: "It's the cat's whiskers!"




Donald M.: "Regarding lightsabers, I always wondered how even the most skilled weilders never managed to slice bits of themselves off."
Michael P.: "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

[Brian Cronin]

3-6-2010

"And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards 5000 to be showered in streamers?"
~ Pól Rua




"This is just like that time I invented Pepsi."
~ Danvh3




MNM: "So some obscure indie title tops such a list. Colour me shocked."
dupont2005: "I look at these lists as a chance at discovering something new and great I should probably be reading, not to reaffirm my belief that Superman rules and everything else sucks."




"I got snow on my deep-dish hotdog!"
~ Ray R.




"I got new glasses today. They've ramped up the magnification a tad, so everything looks bigger, especially close up.

I can't wait to see my ex with no top on!"
~ Spike-X




Gilda Dent: "I missed your joke there. My bad."
jesse_custer: "No apology needed! I fucked the cousin on this one."




"I didn't think it was possible for someone as heavy as me, maybe it's because I don't drink that onften, but I get srunk really easily."
~ Donald M.




i_mmmchocolate: "Vostok, Antarctica: -89.2C
Oymyakon, Russia: -71.1C
Verkhoyansk, Russia: -67.7C
Snag, Yukon, Canada: -63C
Prospect Creek, Alaska, US: -62.1C"
Dreadstar: "Hmmmm... I wonder why they left my ex-wife's vagina off the list?"




"People shouldn't get upset about being called an idiot here. I don't think anyone who posts here hasn't been called an idiot at one time or another. And if you haven't... then be patient, I'll get to you eventually."
~ Asmith




"Bedtime for Gilda.

Goodnight fornicators and sodomites, and all the ships at sea."
~ Gilda Dent




"Good night, CBR, whatever you are."
~ Michael P




DrewTheXenocide: "Man. I could go for some beer and fellatio right now.


Maybe I shouldn't have started this post with 'man.'"
Slugger: "Yeah. You could of said cunnilingus with a man."




Slugger: "I have an odd 12 year old boy fascination with bank robbers."
Michael P: "Better than the other way around."




"Admittedly young men today do look about as masculine as a pack of French dukes out at a boating party..."
~ Asmith




"Well, it's movie time. We're going to enjoy a classic meditation on the power that mercy and compassion have to heal the soul. It's called Female Convict Scorpion: Jailhouse 41."
~ Gilda Dent




"I embrace new forms of online communication like a feral child embraces speech."
~ Paradox




"When you make Half-Baked look like Gone With the Wind, there's a problem."
~ Ray R.




howyadoin: "What exactly is sad about J.D. Salinger's death?"
Danvh3: "He didn't take the Jonas Bros and the cast of Twilight with him?"




"How are they gonna do a RED menace movie without, y'know... the Red menace...? 'It's the inhuman Chinese, They're buying up all our national debt... Quick my Wolverines, to the stock market!'"
~ Asmith




"I thought Santa Claus was Jesus's father God."
~ Cotton




Athena Bast: "How do you know of the Dream Warriors?"
Mac Danny: "They live inside my head? No wait that's the Dream Police."




"Excuse me if I don't share your enthusiasm for 'faith-based' economics."
~ Pól Rua




"It's like a time window into the CBR of two years ago!

Lamest time travel story ever."
~ Donald M.




"You can barely handle the English language. Who are you to decide who lives and who dies?"
~ Danvh3




"My inlaws had an accident involving their Airedale and a paper shredder."
~ The Black Guardian




Dreadstar: "To be fair, you didn't have an entitlement complex."
thehod: "I sent mine back. Didn't think I deserved it."




Ronald Bryan: " I broke down and ordered a pizza. I've been fighting it all week."
Agent Helix: "That's one tough pizza."




howyadoin: "I'll drink to a brighter future, then."
Donald M.: "One where we can all **** robots in our flying cars, like God intended!"




"I don't think hiring nerds counts as affirmative action."
~ StoneGold




"Never trust a fart during the first two weeks of a low carb diet."
~ Mac Danny




"You know what else is a choking hazard: Food. Maybe we should re-design food. Maybe we should make it illegal to serve fish to children - what if they choke on a bone. Maybe we should make buttons illegal on kids clothes - kids pull them off and choke on them. Maybe we should ban marbles - kids swallow them and choke or shove up their noses and die. We should just ban everything. But that's inconvenient. Maybe we should ban kids. But that's unfair. Just what do you think you're doing Dave? Won't somebody think of the children! The children! Soylent Green is people! Daisy, Daisy, I'm half crazy!"
~ thespianphryne




"I saw that article on hot dogs, too.

I wish the government would keep its weiner out of our buns."
~ jesse_custer




"Avatar is like spending two and a half hours with a really beautiful woman, but all she wants to do is talk about her fucking handbag."
~ Agent Helix




"The way the goalposts keep moving, the stadium must have been designed by M.C. Escher."
~ GozertheGozarian




Tages: "I so badly want to get out of here and do something interesting. But I can't find or think of anything."
o1pickleboy: "Interesting. Well you can never go wrong with impregnating a woman you barely know.

I haven't had a dull moment in 2 years."




Gingold: "I for one am hoping to see a new brighter heroic age of tentacle rape after the latest crossovers are finished. For the kids."
Ray R.: "'And Lo, A Squid Shall Lead Them'

Not An Imaginary Story, Don't Miss It, As the DC Universe Will Never Be the Same!"




"If you only sell one size, they are not 'large fries'; they are just 'fries'!!!!"
~ Gingold

[Brian Cronin]

5-15-2010

"She's in great company with Tyra's forehead in the acting department."
~ veracity




"Generally what English speakers put in front, the french put behind.

In more ways than one now that I think about it."
~ Athena Bast




Chris Nowlin: "Ah, I remember the old days when I was the newbie everybody wanted to get rid of."
Gingold: "It's still half true."




Michael P: "The National Breast Council recommends you touch at least three boobs a day."
Pól Rua: "Which is great news for Eccentrica Gallumbits, the Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon VI."
Asmith: "Why do I get the eerie feeling that you didn't need to check a reference for that...?"




Chris Lang: "Can we still contact him? I'd like to talk to him and ask him what's going on.

I'm terribly disappointed, but I'm willing to hear his side of the story."
Agent Helix: "I hope his side of the story is just the lyrics to 'A Boy Named Sue'."




"I like my women like I like my coffee. Bitter and overpriced."
~ Ray R.




howyadoin: "Look familiar?

"
o1pickleboy: "Yeah that is Doom, Pullman and SuperE."




Dazzler: "I'm just curious where FM sits."
Spike-X: "If you mean 'to pee', apparently she doesn't."




o1pickleboy: "When she leaves walking funny is that a good thing or a awesome thing?"
DocAbsurd: "So long as she leaves, it's a good thing."




"In years to come they won't tell stories as to how the full moon sent people fruit loops, they'll tell stories about how the internet did it instead."
~ thehod




gary bolt: "I have a Norco Bush Pilot and I rode it 45K today."
boshobosho: "reading this post at 4:30 am I had to wonder for a moment how you ride an electric razor. I then remember that those are norelcos."




"I cry in the theater all the time. Why, I cried last week at having spent real money on Alice in Wonderland."
~ Dreadstar




"I am shocked- shocked! - to see snark being used in Rita's. Next they'll be talking about Blade Runner."
~ Gingold




Mac Danny: "Happy St. Patty's

Time to be drunk like a poet on payday."
Tadhg: "Poets don't have paydays."




Michael P: "What about comparing Liefeld's anatomy to Jack Kirby's?"
Donald M.: "So it's a dick measuring contest now, is it?"




"And that's the essential problem with 'Planetary' right there. When Elijah Snow says, 'The world is a strange place'... he gets Dracula, Doc Savage and Godzilla... When we say it, we get The Captain Fire-Cock Rock 'n' Roll Spectacular."
~ Pól Rua




MacQuarrie: "Okay, so how can I go about this 'selling out' business? I am ready to sell out. My highest principles and most deeply-held beliefs are for hire."
thespianphryne: "Mac, Mac, Mac. If I knew, would I be here?"




"Hey, the Founding Fathers specifically wrote the Second Amendment so their pudgy, T-shirt wearing descendants could play cowboy while shopping for low-sodium corn chips and sneakers with lights in them."
~ Michael P




"Man, if you can't trust an Oxycontin addicted sexist racist to be true to his word, who can you trust?"
~ Danvh3




"I prefer doing my own thing to working at McDonalds."
~ Erik Larsen




Winslow: "The students voted on teacher superlatives yesterday. What did I win? Most inspiring? friendliest? most eager to help?

No.

Best dancer."
StoneGold: "Hold me closer, Tiny."




"Zen is Chinese for 'boring', right?"
~ Gingold




"Keep drinking until you've found something even dumber to argue about."
~ Donald M.




Gingold: "Man, Blackest Night looks even dumber than I thought it was."
Tadhg: "It makes you long for the days of explaining why Hal had grey temples."




"If wishes were horses then anecdotes would be data, is that how the saying goes?"
~ Tadhg




Slugger: "Apparently JD with a bit of peach schnapps and cran juice is decent."
Royal: "Did your balls just roll out of your pants after you drank that?"




"INT: Atlantic City Boardwalk

Mr. Moneybags: I tell you, Shoe, this whole motherfucking place will be mine. And when it is, things will change.

Shoe: Boss, you know they have it in for you, with the fake beauty pageants, the jail time, and the excessive rents.

Mr. Moneybags: Can the waterworks. I WILL control this city, one goddamned street at a time, if need be.


And, SCENE."
~ Ray R.




"Jesse you are a Mental Organism Designed Only for SULKING."
~ Agent Helix




Dr. Hfuhruhurr: "At 14, I was 6'4" and 175. When I graduated high school, I was 6'6" and 235. Grew another inch-and-a-half in college."
Slam_Bradley: "Yeah...but that's the hybrid vigor of the Sasquatch genes coming out."
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: "I may be large and hairy but it's incredibly hard to catch me on film."




Athena Bast: "Oh wow I feel nauseous all of a sudden."
StoneGold: "Wait, I haven't posted yet."




boshobosho: "We all see these guys at the LCS. They're often dirty, often smell funny, and have the social capabilities of a slug... Can these people be fixed? How would someone go about it?"
Michael P: "Castration seems a bit excessive, especially given the unlikelihood that these guys will ever breed."




Joe Rice: "I LOVE COCKS"
Kid Omega: "It's spelled 'cox'."




"If I try to imagine you in real life, all I can picture is H.R. Puffinstuff."
~ Pól Rua




JeffreyWKramer: "So the Archie comics are introducing an openly gay character, and a more ethically diverse cast of characters."
Agent Helix: "More ethically diverse? So what, they're going to introduce new students at Riverdale that range from anti-abortion teetotallers to serial rapists?"




"The lightbox is on, but nobody's home."
~ Ray R.




"It's too early to be speaking in riddles like a woman.

Just tell me."
~ Winslow




Michael P: "Maybe you've just been talking to some very stupid people."
thespianphryne: "Well, he has been on the internet."




Naota: "You just made every one of my points - thank you."
Donald M.: "Well thank goodness, you sure seemed to be having a hard time making them yourself."




"You left out a crucial bit of information there, Sir Drinks-a-Lot."
~ Donald M.




"The thing with Pitchfork Media is, the way they review albums, they either **** all over them or they wildly ejaculate onto them.

Either way, it's not something you want to touch when they're done."
~ 40footwolf




Agent Helix: "You're all my playthings now."
Ray R.: "First they came for the attention whores, and I did not speak......"




"I've grown numb to seeing Matthew Fox cry. He does it in everything he's in. I'm pretty sure he's even cried in a few movies he wasn't even in."
~ Shan Bruce Lee




"Congratulations Geoff Johns. A lump of plastic is more entertaining than you."
~ Asmith




Guapo Méndez: "Didn't Red K once gave Superman extra arms?
Do you want him to have extra dicks in that precise moment?"
Pól Rua: "Look on the bright side... your pants'll fit like a glove!"




dexterallen01: "what is was the frist game that you evet platyed?"
StoneGold: "Speak and Spell."

[Brian Cronin]

8-18-2010

"Basically, having a pool is a lot like having a high maintenance girlfriend.

They require constant dedication and attention, it costs hundreds of dollars worth of toxic chemicals to make them all pretty, and when all's said and done you only get to spend about ten minutes inside of one a week anyway."
~ Agent Helix




jessecuster2: "We are leaving to go basically to Algren's home."
Puma: "and you're in a hurry?"




"When they make potpourri illegal, only criminals will have potpourri."
~ Danvh3




"Comic con this weekend! But I asked a girl friend to come with me, and she said no. Which really sucks... I don't want to be the only guy turning up to the comic book convention without a date."
~ Asmith




"Is there a shortage of Coopers and Tim Tams in Wallamoorieballoo or something?"
~ Kid Omega




"I have come unto bunched-panty-land to drink your women and steal your beer.

You can keep the fatties and the Natty Light, thanks."
~ Dreadstar




thespianphryne: "Alfred Nobel was a scientist. He also invented dynamite."
Spike-X: "Which is an explosive. Like TNT. Which is an album by AC/DC. AC and DC are tow different types of electrical current. Generating electricity often produces carbon emissions. Therefore Alfred Nobel, and the prize named after him, are contributing to global warming. Which is a myth anyway."




Michael P: "They don't have driver's licenses in Britain?"
Slam_Bradley: "Everyone in Britain are pedestrians. Only elitists drive."




jessecuster3: "This deodorant I have been using says on the label, Smells Like Ice, Wind, and Freedom!"
Mac Danny: "I want one that smells like Earth Wind and Fire. I guess I should just buy some Hai Karate."




"I still wish for Adam Hughes and Gene Ha to collaborate for the signature alone."
~ Jeff Brady




"What is currently piling up in the professional section of my email: A controversy over the Library of Congress agreeing to create a subject heading for strap-on sex but declining to create one for fisting."
~ K'Nort




Spike-X: "Oh dear. A somewhat unfortunate choice of wording:

"
Agent Helix: "Typical media slant."
Matt Algren: "* golf crap *"




"Six pages of this?

Are all the porn sites down or something?"
~ Iangould




Agent Helix: "If Frank Miller and Neil LaBute ever worked on a movie together starring Mel Gibson, it would be so misogynistic that every vagina on the planet would spontaneously implode."
Dreadstar: " Surely you could have worked Dave Sim in there, somehow."
Agent Helix: "I didn't want to be crass."




Brian Cronin: "Isn't it weird how Next Generation had all of thse 'What's racism?' 'It was something that existed in the 20th Century,' 'What's pollution?' 'It was something that existed in the 20th Century,' 'What is greed?' 'It is something that existed in the 20th Century.'"
Joe Rice: "'What is this "interesting conflict"?' 'It's something they had in the old show.'"




"I always see post starting with 'Spoilers', then about a paragraph is blank followed by 'End of Spoilers'.

I want to see the Spoilers please lol."
~ agirlyman




Matt Algren: "I've noticed a decided uptick over the last few months in people saying 'Well said.' It just seems to be everywhere. It's not just me, right?"
jessecuster: "Aptly put."
Guapo Méndez: "Well said."
jessecuster3: "Quoted for truth!"
Typo Lad: "This!"




"El Google es su amigo."
~ Guapo Méndez




"I'll always have a soft-spot for Dick Grayson."
~ Type Lad

[Brian Cronin]

11-5-2010

Tages: "I'm beginning to think that looking to meet girls in Reno is like drilling for oil on the moon."
Asmith: "Silent, lonely, and if you need to poo you have to go in your pants...?"




Donald M.: "How do you explain Smallville managing to stay on the air for a decade?"
Agent Helix: "Quality-starved sci-fi fans happily eating whatever **** network television will defecate into a trough for them?"




"Ever watched a game of pass-the-parcel in a Belfast pub?
It's a kind of ballet.

Quite majestic, if fairly short-lived."
~ Pól Rua




Charles RB: "If only those poor henchmen were named characters with license potential, eh?"
Sean Whitmore: "I thought Thug 3 from Amazing Spider-Man #331 could have been the breakout character of 1990."
Charles RB: "Considering it was the nineties, I'm surprised there wasn't a Thug #3 miniseries with foil cover variants and a guest appearance from Ghost Rider."




"My Big Muff is lonely."
~ DrewTheXenocide




"You say stupid words. Me listen to everything you say from now on.

Hello."
~ thehod




"Enjoy your 'immortality' while it lasts, drunky."
~ Donald M.




Pól Rua: "Rape, bank-robbing, cattle rustling, and rape..."
Paradox: "You said DC twice."




"It's amazing how butthurt people can get over a man with a beard speaking honestly and coherently."
~ jesse_custer




"whys not one here while iamn drrkn? no faier"
~ Athena Bast




"So would a rapscallion be somebody who freestyles over the top of Green Onions by Booker T and the MGs?"
~ Spike-X




"If it's made of cotton and has buttons for eyes, I don't think you need to know whose hand is in it to recognize what it is."
~ StarsAndGarters




Paul McEnery: "Cut some words out of a Dan Brown book and arrange them into a crossword pattern."
thehod: "50 different ways to spell crap.

Should kill fifteen minutes."




Seresecros: "Wasn't America founded upon the principle of freedom of speech? Or some **** like that?"
coveredinbees: "No, that came later."




Stonegold: "You're already going to hell for masturbating, might as well go full tilt boogie."
Captain Clarkie: "I'm not too familiar with that option, is that the one where you **** a Pinball machine?"




Matt Algren: "I gave my resume to someone I knew in high school who is an HR specialist, and she (like several others) said it was an impressive resume. Still no leads, though."
Captain Clarkie: "Try your pencil case, next to the eraser."




"Hating Muslims means hating Muhammed Ali, and that's unamerican."
~ GozertheGozarian




JeffreyWKramer: "Hey, Dread, did you ever figure out what pans you're going to get?"
Joe Rice: "I read that as 'pants' first and I thought, 'Wow, we have reached a new all-time low in interesting conversations here in Rita's.'"

[Brian Cronin]

1-1-2011

"I avoid Captain Morgan just on general principle, because there are a ton of better things to drink. The brand marketing of frat boy, rape kit, goofy retard pose fuel provide a separate justification for avoidance."
~ Ray R.




howyadoin: "Imagine if Nickelback covered 'We Built This City'. I wonder if you can."
Paul McEnery: "Thanks, but I already know there's no heaven."




"Meanwhile, according to the ad for the CMAs that had the temerity to air during Jeopardy, there's apparently a country music singer called 'Lady Antebellum.'

I wonder if she's got a single titled 'Them Damn Yankees Better Not Try To Take My Niggers.'"
~ Michael P




Paul McEnery: "I've got Epping Forest across my belly."
Captain Clarkie: "I wouldn't advise foraging in THOSE woods."
Pól Rua: "If you go down to the woods today, prepare for a big surprise..."




"My sis surprised me yesterday with a gift of a 40" HD LCD Samsung TV... I like it when good things happen to me instead of other people."
~ Asmith




Spike-X: "Christian families will have their children taken away and given to atheist same-sex couples for adoptrination."
Captain Clarkie: "It's like Herod 2.0"




"It's always breakfast somewhere."
~ Paul McEnery




"What am I, a savage? Might as well go around hypnotizing chickens!"
~ Joe Rice




Slugger: "how many human races are there?"
Donald M.: "Just the one."
Chris Nowlin: "What about gingers?"
Donald M.: "He said human."




Tages: "I've heard one hypothesis before that Kennedy wanted to commit suicide but was prevented as a Roman Catholic from doing so. The entire scene in Dallas was an elaborate assisted suicide ritual designed as a runaround for Catholic rules against suicide imbued with secret Masonic symbolism."
Captain Clarkie: "That's what SHE said!"




Paradox: "Oops, wrong thread."
Chris Nowlin: "Boy is that an understatement."




"The idea that 'geek' is a designation that needs protecting from opportunistic outsiders is ludicrous and your insistence is frankly embarrassing."
~ Donald M.




gary bolt: "Staff Christmas party tonight. Woo."
howyadoin: "I hope everybody grew a beard for the occasion."
GozertheGozarian: "Katie Holmes or Kelly Preston?"




Tadhg: "The end we can agree that Gru is responsible for all culture, especilly Cap wearing a schoolgirl outfit while covered in mayonnaise and having sex with iron man as a wolf."
Spike-X: "I will be in my motherfucking BUNK."




"We were not talking about music, we were talking about Billy Joel."
~ Captain Clarkie




"I've never really considered that, of all the stupid **** that makes it to TV, there's stuff that's actually rejected for being too stupid.

I don't think I'm going to sleep well tonight."
~ Spike-X




gary bolt: "Ya, especially when they get all whinny about it."
Spike-X: "I know! I'm like, 'Why the long face?'"




gary bolt: "We're going to start it breast side down. I've done my last few birds that way..."
Spike-X: "Small world."




"God, why does the "new craze" in liquor have to be flavored bourbon? You know what the only acceptable bourbon flavor is? BOURBON."
~ Agent Helix




howyadoin: "Jesus. Haven't even started drinking yet, and the fucking cold medicine is making me maudlin already."
Paradox: "Should cold acquaintance be forgot?"

[Brian Cronin]

3-26-2011

kikiyo2: "Thanks for basically proving my point. No one actually refutes my point but they're right there with the snarky responses like I'm an idiot to discredit my point. The usual indie-snob response. Sorry, but I can actually think for myself and not sip the indie kool-aid. And yea, Dark Avengers was the best comic of the year but everybody's afraid to put something that sells because they lose "street cred." Yet, it's me that has the bad taste instead of a bunch of posers hyping a bunch of books that they've probably never read (or understand)."
Michael P: "Keep going. I've almost got 'bingo.'"




"Everyone thinks in absolutes and binaries. It's so very tiresome."
~ Kid Omega




dupont2005: "Alexander The Great was only 32 when he died? Damn, people used to get **** done back then."
Shellhead: "In all fairness, they didn't have console games back then."




strathcona: "Yeah... what kind of name is Kal-El?"
dupersuper: "A proud Kryptonian name...it means star child."




gryhpon: "Having a good day so far."
gryhpon: "A really good day."
gryhpon: "Wanna know why?"
Jeff Brady: "Well, it certainly isn't because you've learned to get to the point in less than four posts."




"Friend of mine had a case of that that just kept coming back round over and over and over again.

It was eventually diagnosed as 'loop-de-lupus'."
~ Pól Rua




Slugger: "Late 90's nostalgia gets me everytime, especially when I see music videos from that time, and think how MTV and Muchmusic used to be good."
Donald M.: "Sometimes I forget how young you are, then you post something stupid like this."




"Running a Wonder Woman blog tells me you're either definitely straight, or definitely gay."
~ FunkyGreenJerusalem




"Asexuality is the new Amy."
~ GozertheGozarian




Tadhg: "Anyone know how to rig a coin toss?"
StoneGold: "Depends, how superhuman are your reflexes?"
Tadhg: "Subhuman, I'd say."




Spike-X: "Wouldn't you rather **** someone who's not a bitch?"
StoneGold: "I appreciate the interest, but I'm not into dudes."




BYC: "Maybe it's time to open a Relationships sub-forum."
Captain Clarkie: "I'm not ready for that kind of commitment."




"I was always curious, if you're of Scottish decent, do you automatically get a pair of velcro gloves?"
~ Dreadstar




Tadhg: "Has anyone, through magic or technology, figured out how to instantaneously refill whiskey bottles?"
GozertheGozarian: "I had a machine that could, but all it would make was Canadian Club, so I destroyed it."




AXL: "You know, I've only been on these forums for two months and I am seeing a lot of hate being thrown around. I know that us comic people have our opinions on things, but I just have to ask: why all the hate?"
DonC: "It's because I actually paid money for Chinese Democracy."




"Stop Postin' Lyrics, Yo

Hey
hey na na
stop posting lyrics
na na hey

CHORUS

Seriously it's really
Really annoying
Na na na so stop doing it"
~ Agent Helix




"My dong is made of tolerance!"
~ Fabian




"What does Joe look like, some egghead?

He's a working man! He doesn't have time to read THE NEW YORKER cover to cover, like some people!"
~ Kid Omega




"Amalgam could've been better, but at least it's heart was in the right place. Namely in its chest, not getting eaten by a beloved character transformed into a fucking space zombie."
~ Donald M.




Captain Clarkie: "I was too busy running off with my tale between my legs to notice."
Winslow: "Must be the Norman blood in you."

[Brian Cronin]

6-9-2011

"I can't believe I never noticed this before, but Chewbacca totally looks like John Travolta."
~ Donald M.




"Who could blame him? What are the odds of finding fans that obsess about every detail on the internet?"
~ Nick Soapdish




jessecuster3: "Woo hoo, finally a new Transformer in my hands!"
Spike-X: "That's what she never, ever said."




Justin D.: "Bicep season?"
i_mmmchocolate: "It's the most wonderful time of the year!"




"'Utilikilt' sounds like something the Scottish Batman would wear."
~ Michael P




Pól Rua: "Ducks are awesome. Geese are mean."
Paul McEnery: "But both taste good
In a tureen."
Spike-X: "Burma Shave."




"I feel like drinkin' tonight, like drinkin' tonight, like drinkin' tonight!

Chicken is equally good though."
~ Captain Clarkie




"Isn't that always the way? Sometimes, life seems like a never-ending progression of Coys and Vances when all you really want is a Bo or a Luke."
~ Donald M.




Matt Algren: "You keep a dildo at Costco?"
Athena Bast: "No, that's moving out in 5 weeks."




Winslow: "Anyone know how to dye hair white?"
Joe Rice: "Just keep teaching."




Brian Cronin: "How do shows get baby actors to cry when needed? They don't actually do mean stuff to them, do they?"
Matt Algren: "Feed them peanut butter, right?

Wait, that's how you make horses talk."




"Stan's had enough appearances on Entertainment Tonight and such that he might get a nod. He did create Superman, after all. And the Peanuts. And anal sex."
~ StoneGold




howyadoin: "Wednesday's plans include sleeping in, alcohol and paint."
Spike-X: "Good thing you put that comma there."
Captain Clarkie: "I think your new nickname should be Kelsey Grammar."




Slam Bradley: "I keep forgetting that Wonder Woman's costume is the most important thing EVAH!"
Pól Rua: "Well, she is a close, personal friend."
Spike-X: "I call her Diana. That's the kind of relationship we have.

You wouldn't understand. None of you understand!!"




Royal: "Set foot in a comic shop after ten years. Got both volumes of Challengers of the Unknown and the second volume of Darwyn Cooke's version of The Spirit. What's Fear Itself?"
Spike-X: "It's the only thing we have to fear. But that's not important right now."




Mac Danny: "Though the Mr Terrific cover looks like he just ate a big bowl of spaghetti. Why is his mouth red?"
Slam_Bradley: "Red wings."




Michael P: "Isn't it time we all got beyond Thunderdome?"
Mangaman: "Now Michael, we don't need another hero."




"If you think of the internet as a body, you can think of crazy as herpes. It's always there and under control. But under the right circumstances, there's an outbreak. And you live with a very real chance of getting infected yourself."
~ thespianphryne




Chris N: "Does masturbating count as having a life?"
Alex L: "Living life fifteen minutes at a time?"
Michael P: "You're up to fifteen minutes?"
Pól Rua: "He's playing 'hard to get'."

[Brian Cronin]

9-22-2011

"Four republicans swayed to do the right thing. It reads like fiction."
~ Gary_B




"Pay no attention to Canadian Jesus! He is a false pope!"
~ Paul McEnery




"In baggy pants or shabby frock,
No ladyparts escape my cock.
Let those who virtue's praises sing
Beware my power and kiss my ring!"
~ Paul McEnery




"Fecal finality lead to fungible fiscal frivolity."
~ Ray R.




Spackling Compound: "Good for you! I'll check it out. Love to have books by people who have banned me."
Brian Cronin: "You might need a bigger bookshelf."




jessecuster3: "What is a dream?"
GozertheGozarian: "The first thing lost in becoming an adult."




"Personally, I think it would be a really great idea if Lois fucked everyone in the Avengers and X-Men in a DC/Marvel crossover called Kingdom Cum."
~ jesse_custer




"Luckily there are some women here to help you shop for a purse."
~ Slam_Bradley




"If comics are dying how come CBR keeps having to increase its server capacity?"
~ Iangould




"There's really only one thing I didn't like about the Green Lantern movie.

Unfortunately that one thing was the script."
~ Iangould




Michael P: "Seriously, though, I've had my phone, computer, and printer since 2004. I think it's time to see what's new."
Spike-X: "Definitely. Did you know they have phones you can carry around with you now?"




SUPERECWFAN1: "I can't believe its wrong to love a sandwich !"
Smoogis: "Shhh...you'll get over your salami someday."




"I do not have a boyfriend. I have misanthropic penis that comes to visit every once in a while."
~ Athena Bast




"I wonder what they're going to call the second series on tv. As Game of Thrones seems to be the general series name, will the second series be called Game of Thrones: Clash of Kings. Kind of an unfortunate acronym there."
~ thehod




Iangould: "Well first they dumped sand on the mangroves, then they built a bunch of warehouses on top; then they knocked them down and build World Expo 88 on the site; then they build a lot of stupid **** nobody wanted that went broke then they knocked them and dumped a bunch more sand."
Paul McEnery: "And the castle fell into the swamp..."
Paradox: "NO SINGING!"




"I'll just go ahead and say it: This is why we need the death penalty."
~ thespianphryne




jesse_custer: "Honestly, I expected a better handjob from you."
Dreadstar: "That was my foot."




"You should be dictating the answers to your secretary, while reclining on a chaise longue as you're fed grapes by a dusky maiden."
~ Spike-X




Michael P: "Phase 2 of Operation: Upgrade My **** has officially commenced."
GozertheGozarian: "Eating more fiber?"




howyadoin: "So I'm hearing rumours that tonight is the 9th anniversary of Firefly."
Michael P: "And to celebrate, Fox will be destroying all of the original footage."




Jared H.: "Two issues to read a letter. Who are you, Bendis?"
SUPERECWFAN1: "Writing for the Trade baby. Writing for the trade. You suckers gotta pay for this. Just thank me for not making it a 6 issue arc of Peter reading the letter with lots more Norman's O face."




howyadoin: "This has been such a fucking great day."
Spike-X: "I didn't know you hated R.E.M. that much."

[Brian Cronin]

12-8-2011

Darrell D.: "But, hey, boobs."
jesse_custer: "This is the only part of your post that struck me as important."




Michael P: "God, sexless nerds turning their noses up at gorgeous starlets appearing in their nerd movies never stops being funny."
thespianphryne: "Her heels are great, but her boobs aren't big enough. Also she looks like my grandma from when she was young."




Gary_B: "I've drank warm milk fresh from the udder."
Spike-X: "So have I.

Well, it wasn't technically an udder.

And it wasn't deliberately.



I've said too much."




"I'll never understand how they expect people to do mind-numbing factory work without being on drugs."
~ Paradox




Captain Clarkie: "All the ladies in the house say -"
Gary_B: "Sergio Velente!"




"Sheldon Cooper is not meant to be a fucking role model."
~ thehod




Michael P: "I remember in college, my friends and I went to a donut shop after we saw Daredevil.

The donuts were so much better than the movie."
Tadhg: "I had foot surgery right after seeing Daredevil, it was also better than the movie."




i_mmmchocolate: "I wear glasses, so walking in the rain can be a pain in the ass at times."
Slam_Bradley: "But you look so good in them."
i_mmmchocolate: "Please stay on topic. Rain is my mortal enemy."
Slam_Bradley: "She's melting! Melting!"




thespianphryne: "Oh boy. Are we taking bets on the male contraception thread yet?"
Jared H.: "I have avoided that thread like the AIDS."




"Aha, thank you. If I assume 'on' is a mis-spelling of 'in', 'aportunity' means 'opportunity', and 'analise' means 'analyze,' I can now understand that I should not have opened this thread."
~ Steward Ace




"And really, why does CBR continue to cover people who say dumb **** just because they happen to make comics?"
~ JeffreyWKramer




Deathstroke: "Whatever happened to CBR poster phoenixrising?"
Michael P: "Real life, I'm guessing."
i_mmmchocolate: "Yup. She lives in the DC area."
the4thpip: "Oh... was she very much affected by the reboot, then?"




Slam_Bradley: "I don't understand the whole Muppet thing."
Tadhg: "They're puppets."




"If I get sick again because the secretary came to work as plague carrier, I'm going to set her on fire."
Tadhg:

[Brian Cronin]

3-8-12

Gary_B: "Morna and I are about to watch a new episode of Sherlock."
Spike-X: "No ****?"




jesse_custer: "I got engaged Friday.

In other news, Justified is ****."
Slam_Bradley: "You never need to justify ****.

And congratulations."




"I always liked the bit Richard Beltzer did where he described Jagger as moving 'like a white suburban kid raised by a family of black chickens'."
~ Pól Rua




Charles RB: "Are Kinder Eggs the ones that used to be Kinder Surprise?"
Michael P: "They had to change the name after NBC stole it for the German version of "To Catch A Predator."

I'll go to my room now and think about what I've done."




"Hyperbole is awesomer than a billion blow jobs."
~ Tages




Merey: "Are you guys finding out the sex?"
Michael P: "I imagine they found out about it some time ago, given that there's a baby on the way."




Pól Rua: "Charlie Brooker is a finite and precious resource."
Tadhg: "He's on my list of people to immortalize through Artificial Intelligence; along with Stephen Hawking and Vin Diesel."




"Butt-head also said 'bunghole' a few times. He once got asked what a bunghole would and in a moment of zen-like philosophy, explained 'you're a bunghole, bunghole'. A thinker for our time."
~ Charles RB




Michael P: "I sometimes wonder what we as a species did for God to inflict us with Katy Perry."
Tadhg: "Punishment for Internet message boards, I'd assume."




Cavemold: "Already read a book today, but thanks"
Spike-X: "So did the little red engine make it to the top of the hill?"




Michael P: "It hit me today: I'm going to do it. I'm actually going to finish this book."
Captain Clarkie: "*Spoiler* He ended up liking the Green Eggs and Ham."




Jared H.: "Looking forward to the next digest, whenever that might be."
thehod: "You know if you replace the word digest with sex, that's a very good description for life when you're married with kids."




morna: "heya Jeff..wait - you're having a baby!? holy ****"
Jeff Brady: "Yes. Well, my wife is; she's better equipped."




o1pickleboy: "i have no idea why I come here anymore."
jessecuster3: "**** You, Pickle."
o1pickleboy: "now i remember"




Michael P: "Typing the word 'chum' when your 'H' key keeps sticking is a perilous affair."
Jeff Brady: "I applaud your avoidance of 'sticky situation'."