Every so often, poster extraordinaire howyadoin collected some of the best quotes from CBR posters and posted them in a DIGEST. I figured it'd be nice to save these Digests for posterity...

08-11-2005

"Why is it I'm always funny when I'm self deprecating?

It must be my hormonal bitch titties."
~ Dom Jigsaw


"Drinking Diet Soda is kind of like taking a really smelly crap.

If you stay in the bathroom long enough, you don't notice that it stinks."
~ SteelTownr


"Its easy to be kind and magnanimous when someone else is picking up the check."
~ Boldido


"Back when I was a professional balloon twister, I didn't even join any of the clown societies or organizations."
~ MacQuarrie


"never trust a southerner, unless he's playing Freebird."
~ Alex


"I was going to serve salmon puffs, but then I realized that they're pretty gay, so instead, we're going to snack on shards of broken glass dipped in crude oil, a manly man's snack if there ever were one."
~ NormanB


"I hate it when anyone says (in regards to America):

'Love it or leave it'.

Here's a third option, jackass: FIX IT."
~ pennywisdom


"Only Adam Blah Blah Blah can solve this one for us."
~ Joe Rice


"I kinda wish Kevin Smith had been the writer for Identity Crisis."
~ PatrickG


"I have Hellen Keller's sketch book. She really couldn't draw."
~ Dom Jigsaw


JeffreyWKramer: "So, whaddaya have to say about sex?"
MacQuarrie: "Since we shut down the baby factory and had the whole area rezoned as recreational, it's been very good indeed."


"Knockouts are unfortunately rare in gymnastics."
~ Slam_Bradley


"I camncot tyoe, but I loev yoiuy!!!"
~ cosmic cat


"The quote was 'Hispanic and Latino women with blond hair look like hookers to me...' To which the defense was that he only said they looked like hookers, not that they were. To which the obvious response is I only said Byrne sounds like a total douchebag, not that he is."
~ StoneGold


"Real names on a comics message board?

Maybe we should put on a tie and comb our hair each time we make a post too."
~ cactusmaac


"No, I'm not a theme park nerd. I'm an 'enthusiast'."
~ Gilda Dent


"Being politically correct just means using the parlance of the day, and often bowing down to whichever psychologist was last on Oprah plugging their book."
~ FunkyGreenJerusalem


"It's actually amazing that conservatives are able to get out of bed in the morning -- everywhere they go, something gives them maidenly vapours."
~ Wesley Dodds


"I have an ear- and nose- hair trimmer. The tip is cylindre-- cylendri--- IT'S TUBELIKE AND HAS A ROTATING BLADE THING THAT GOES WHHHIIRRRR."
~ Ed Cunard


"Straight people should know that gay people come from another dimension and all want to turn your sons and daughters into zombie sex slaves for the devil."
~ Converge


"I love landscapes but I haven't been humping tree stumps."
~ kmeyers


"In spite of what you may believe, history is complicated, and cannot be reduced to simplistic platitudes and bumper stickers."
~ Tages


"Wake up! It's the internet! Don't you know Lucas raped your childhood?!?!"
~ Valmore


"Reading back over that, I think I've used the word "cool" so many times that's it's lost meaning."
~ Gilda Dent


"doo doot doo do doot doot do doo doot doo.

Lord knows why I don't have a record contract."
~ twilight


"Alex and Fabian,
sitting in a tree,
Pee Eye Bee Bee Eye Enn Gee...


ew."
~ Pól Rua


"Is it possible the decline in the morality of man had something to do with Reagan's vaunting of greed or Nixon's contempt for democracy?"
~ Wesley Dodds