Yes, but it's not just "well, this is the same, so we can check this box" sort of thing. Tony's parent's death don't drive him. He's Iron Man because he wants to be. Batman's parent's death drove him, almost to the point of obsession, to put on the mantle of Batman and fight crime and bring justice to the unjust, and also to make sure his parent's death never happens to someone else.
Again, yes they are both insanely wealthy. But what do they do with their wealth? That's the difference.
Nope. Tony IS a playboy. Bruce being a playboy is a complete act.
Nope. Tony is one of the smartest minds in the MU. He's a horrible tactician. Bruce, on the other hand, is not super intelligent like Tony or Reed. It's not even close.
Bruce is, however, one of the best, if not THE best tacticians in the DCU. Big difference.
Tony uses a suit of armor and can fly. Bruce is a street fighter. Not the same at all.
Bruce would only use his files against his teammates and friends if they went rogue or insane. Tony would use them if they simply disagreed with him. Totally different.
Alfred is Bruce's butler in name only. He's a father figure to Bruce and his Robins. Jarvis really is just a butler to Tony.
Oh, and Alfred would kick the snot out of Jarvis.