Well, I don't think Ben really blames Jess. As someone who knew how Roger felt about Jess, Ben could certainly see why Olivia blames Jess for Roger's death and was probably trying to get Jess to understand where Olivia was coming from better.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Jessica knew what Ben was getting at. he wasn't blaming her. everyone else in the book is too "close to things" to see the truth. Ben's good at getting at the truth.