1) Snufalupagus. Nothing against him personally, but that show needs some pathos. It's kind of Mary-Sue-ish now.
2) Matlock. He's got some fine gams.
3) "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends..."
4) In a room with a finite number of mods with infinite banhammers, no matter how unlikely my banning, eventually I will be banned an infinite number of times by all of them.
5) YES.