Yeah, I remember during those years, "At least you're not Nightwing" was a common phrase people would use whenever something bad happened to a character. They were just not letting up on putting Dick though crap.
His being depressed and whiny WAS justified, but what wasn't was how much of a jerk this caused him to be to everyone around him. (ESPECIALLY Babs)
And you're right, this isn't the kind of thing that looks good on Steph. But they want to go through the "Steph is the outsider of the Family" thing again, and as many problems as I have with Tynion's writing, this was a much better solution than just having Bruce come off as sexist like he did Pre-Flashpoint. Hopefully it'll be temporary, and we can get a Steph resembling Dixon's or BQM's.