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  1. #301
    Mighty Member Angilasman's Avatar
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    Wrote this on another board:

    Yeah, it's bad. Pretty terrible, really. Some spoilers included, but I'll keep it vague.

    The story is a hodgepodge a various Hellboy comics, and the movie is at its best in the first half when it plays like a series of vignettes of Hellboy having these crazy adventures. I mean, it's still cheap looking and goofy from the start, but for the first half it maintains an enjoyable B-movie feel, like the action movie equivilant of a Nightmare on Elm Street sequel. It's once we pass through these few short stories worth of material to enter the main storyline (we're halfway through the movie before we introduce the rest of the main characters) that the film goes from enjoyably bad to just bad. It feels as though the third act of this movie was cut down from something originally twice as long, as we violently ricochet from plot point to action beat with no connective tissue between them and you feel like there was a tremendous amount left on the cutting-room floor, making it feel like a mediocre collage of footage with no oomph or focus behind anything. What's funny about once the movie gets into the plot heavy part of the movie is that despite pulling directly from Mignola's comic it hits pretty much all the same story beats covered in Guillermo del Toro's previous two movies. You'll be amazed at how similar almost all the sequences in the third act are to scenes much more satisfyingly realized in those previous films.

    The cast is pretty game, and try their best with the bad material and dialogue given to them. It's easy to imagine a much better movie with pretty much the same cast. McShane as Broom is maybe the most interesting, as he's a great and charismatic actor yet the character has been rewritten to be so thoroughly unpleasant and unlikable so it all cancels out. His main affectation is that he drops f-bombs in every sentence and is pointlessly mean. Those obscenities were maybe intended to be funny (?), but they don't amount to any memorable zingers...

    ... That's the weird thing about this R-rated business; it seems like an afterthought. All the swearing and gore feel like they were plopped in at the last minute and none have any punch to them. There's no swear words providing awesome moments like Samuel Jackson dialog in Pulp Fiction, and there's no gore that legitimately surprises and terrifies like the eye-gouging in Fulci's Zombie (to bring up two effective examples). The dirty bits are totally perfunctory and this could easily be a PG-13 movie without losing anything of value.

    Oh, it's very cheap. Some of the worst CGI you will see this decade, and a lot of the practical effects are bad, too. At several points you see Hellboy's horns wobble! There are a few well realized practical effects and neat creature designs in there, though.

    The Baba Yaga, an incredible character from the comic based on Russian folklore, is reduced to a latexy Goosebumps villain. Lobster Johnson, another great character here played by great actor, is reduced to a pointless cameo who will no doubt completely flummox general audiences.

    In short; it's a total systems failure of a movie. It's vastly inferior to Guillermo del Toro's movies, and it falls so woefully short of the comic books on which it's directly based that fans of neither will have much to like.

  2. #302
    (Formerly ilash) Ilan Preskovsky's Avatar
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    Here's my own spoiler-free review of the film, if anyone is interested.
    Check out my blog, Because Everyone Else Has One, for my regularly updated movie reviews.

  3. #303
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ilan Preskovsky View Post
    Here's my own spoiler-free review of the film, if anyone is interested.
    just a heads up, I think you meant Dark Knight, not Batman Begins

    "Despite Hellboy II: The Golden Army’s relatively weak showing at the box office (it was rather overshadowed by Batman Begins and Iron Man)"

  4. #304
    (Formerly ilash) Ilan Preskovsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Lobster View Post
    just a heads up, I think you meant Dark Knight, not Batman Begins

    "Despite Hellboy II: The Golden Army’s relatively weak showing at the box office (it was rather overshadowed by Batman Begins and Iron Man)"
    Oh hell, you're right. Good catch. I was sure it was Batman Begins but I totally got the year wrong. This is the problem with rushing a review at midnight straight after seeing the film.
    Check out my blog, Because Everyone Else Has One, for my regularly updated movie reviews.

  5. #305
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    Just came back from seeing it. As a Hellboy fan my expectations were pretty low. It was pretty average and ruined my 2 favorite characters (Daimio and Lobster) but I still had some fun. What blew my mind were the monster designs. Wow! Incredible! The demons at the end felt like they came out of Guy Davis's mind! Incredible. And any scene with Baba Yaga is so good.
    I'm torn. Its an awful Hellboy movie but I loved the monsters. :P

  6. #306
    The Claw of Justice!
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    Wrote up my thoughts on another forum after seeing it today:

    Saw it today... it's really bad. Not a good movie on its own merits, but as an adaptation it's truly awful. None of the wit and charm and epic nature of the series is here. Hellboy as a character is whiny and unrecognizable, Daimio's tragic transformation is reduced to a power-up, and Lobster Johnson doesn't talk much like The Lobster at all beyond one "Beware my claw". I have a lot more complaints but suffice to say, it was not at all what I wanted out of a Hellboy movie.

    spoilers:
    I really do not want to watch the sequel teased in the post-credits scene - Kohschei's story deserves far better treatment than this.
    end of spoilers
    "...puppets are scary, and puppets do things when people are sleeping, and they run around and get their own ideas about things." - Mike Mignola

    "…if you’ve been damaged, if you’ve been made lesser, if you’ve been reduced, and you’re still trying to do the right thing… that’s a #$%@ing hero." -John Arcudi

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  7. #307
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    looks like its not even going to place second at the box office to Shazam. Little will beat it out too.

  8. #308
    Spectacular Member KROENEN's Avatar
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    I was weened on low budget VHS horror and late night B-movie monster mash-ups; this was just plain old bloody fun. I can't go back to Del Toro; this just hit so many of the right buttons with me. I missed the Visitor Easter egg; but there was plenty of awesome funnbook related stuff there to chew on for longtime (horn heads?) Hellboy fans.

  9. #309

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    I was thinking about them adapting the conqueror worm for a potential sequel. I thought it would be an interesting way to reintroduce the Nazi cabal and their goals but through a different lens. The main issue would be introducing Roger cause he's from a seperate story so maybe you would canon-weld him to Von Klempt?

  10. #310

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    I would challenge the filmmakers to come up with a completely original story and not borrow any plots from the comics.

  11. #311
    Spectacular Member KROENEN's Avatar
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    I liked the idea of some small, self contained spook stories. That way they could come up with their own cinematic lore without treading over the comic narrative.

  12. #312
    Amazing Member timbolton's Avatar
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    I think I'm against the flow here.

    I went into this glancing at reviews here, elsewhere and a general feeling from people coming back from it of frustration and dislike. I've been reading HB for 13 or so years, read all the comics, love it all. But I didn't go in expecting a lot. I knew there would be beats where it follows the comics and beats where it walked totally away, films do.
    I was extremely worried going in about the swearing and gore - HB doesn't have much swearing (if any) in the comics. There is gore of course, HB are after all horror comics, but not on a scale movies often do.
    So, first off - the gore and swearing didn't bother me. When you have a dismembered witch in the comics who is put back together, I guess anything goes in a film that adapts that story. It was over the top at times, but I never felt overwhelmed by it. Broom is the opposite of Broom in the comics - I can see that grate on people. He's harder, more mean-spirited - but I have Broom in the comics if I want the original.
    I think I approach the film as a version of HB that has it's own life - it's definitely not the comics, I mean can you imagine them trying to convince the general public of MM's vision of Hell where we see HB wandering around? I don't.
    I enjoyed that they really dip into the comics for scenes and story points. I decided early on I wasn't going to get frustrated with things that were changed - Daimio and Alice for example. Alice pretty much took over the role of Johann in this. The timeline in the film is completely different to the comics. I'm not fussed.
    I picked up the art of book the other day, I'll dip into that now. I also got delivery of the HB Board Game Kickstarter too (ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC job done on the figures for that game!!!) - so all round, this is my HB week.

    I am actually happy to see a sequel to this.

    However, I am still trying to process the Gruagach with a scouse accent lol. I expected Irish, but that'll do pig
    “Don't mess with me, lady. I've been drinking with skeletons.” -- Hellboy.
    “Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the Wizards.” -- Tony Stark.

  13. #313

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    Quote Originally Posted by grogtheslayer View Post
    I would challenge the filmmakers to come up with a completely original story and not borrow any plots from the comics.
    That would be funny because that what Del Toro did in the golden army.

    History repeats.
    Last edited by the illustrious mr. kenway; 04-16-2019 at 01:58 PM.

  14. #314
    Spectacular Member KROENEN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by timbolton View Post
    I think I approach the film as a version of HB that has it's own life - it's definitely not the comics, I mean can you imagine them trying to convince the general public of MM's vision of Hell where we see HB wandering around?
    I feel the same. I never really expected the comic and movie to resonate tonally and expecting a repeat of the Del Toro movies was asking for disappointment. Hellboy is it's own weird little thing; I think what they showed it had enough of a unique voice to stand apart from the crowded super hero genre in theaters. You really have to take it as it's own thing, separate from the funnybook world.

  15. #315
    I am the law Judge Dredd's Avatar
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    I think the reviews were a bit harsh and movie def had its issues, but I do not think it was the train wreck the reviews made it out to be. The professor was horrible all around as soon as the narrative began with the cursing I knew they completely missed on the character and it really hurt the movie as so much was focused on Hellboy and Broom relationship. Sadly Hellboy adaptions are probably all done for a long time, maybe we can get lucky and get a BPRD show. I would give the movie a 5/10 rating the flow just felt off like it jumped from scene to scene, but it is bombing hard.

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