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  1. #166
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    Question about resubmitting a revised version following the feedback: should I resubmit to the same email as in the original submission? Should I indicate somehow (in the subject line, body of the email, or the script itself) that this is the revised final version that I'm submitting?

  2. #167

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    Here's mine:

    "Kirk, doing a Think Tank/Postal crossover is an ambitious move for a Talent Hunt like this, but I wouldn't say that you're doing a bad job. Still, it's easy to get lost in the characters and end up with a plot that feels disjointed, so be sure to keep everything lined up and flowing neatly."

    I look back and see exactly what they're saying. The transitions are a bit abrupt before everything pulls together. I spent too much time trying to develop one character, but the character development didn't really move my story forward. Rather, it moved the Think Tank story as a whole forward. It would have worked well in a story arc, but not in a single issue.

    I need to think about this project as a self-contained project. This will help me revise the script so that it is tied together nicely.

    I found the feedback to be a nice combination of encouraging and constructive.

  3. #168

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillonisms View Post
    The feedback for my script:

    "first off - don't script in all caps. It can really mess with the letters phase. Additionally, keep the structure of the page in mind - you can only fit so many panels per page, and only so many captions and words per panel."
    That's great advice for every script writer. Thanks for sharing!

    I think if folks keep sharing feedback we can create a pretty thorough repository of suggestions that will help all of us.

    If you're willing to share, please do, everybody!

  4. #169
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Kirk Jones View Post
    That's great advice for every script writer. Thanks for sharing!

    I think if folks keep sharing feedback we can create a pretty thorough repository of suggestions that will help all of us.

    If you're willing to share, please do, everybody!
    I agree. Keep the feedback coming. It's definitely helpful to see. I'm postulating that "not bad" means "good".
    Last edited by seanterry25; 10-19-2017 at 01:02 PM.

  5. #170
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    I haven't received the feedback yet

  6. #171
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    Hey gang, thanks for sending in your stuff. Sorry the feedback was limited to one concise paragraph - we had way more entries meet the feedback deadline than usual, and it took considerable man-hours to get those submissions reviewed. All in all, very pleased with what we got. Great work, all of you - stiff competition this year.

    All of the feedback HAS been sent out - so if for some reason you didn't receive feedback and you're pretty sure you were supposed to, reply to that submissions email, and someone will doublecheck. A couple people always slip through the cracks, but it's nothing we can't sort out. Thanks again, gang - looking forward to your final submissions in December.

  7. #172
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    Hello. I need to know to what e mail adress i send the feedback submission. I send to the same e mail adress? i need to indicate some specific thing in the subject or i the corps of the mail? Thanks!

  8. #173
    All-New Member illapu05's Avatar
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    My feedback notes:
    "Jeff, I don't think this is a bad script at all, but I guess I'm worried that Postal readers don't *gain* anything from this story. It's not connected enough to the larger plot of the comic. Try and find a way to give it context."

    I was hmm "confused" in a way because the contest rules are the story should be standalone? I didn't want it to interfere with the larger plot of the comic based on that. But, I will give it more exposition based on this feedback.

  9. #174
    davidmalyn
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    My feedback:

    David, a lot of elements of a good thriller script are here, but some of it comes off a bit stiff. More importantly, you’ve populated this story mostly with original characters, and the POSTAL feel and setting is almost a background. Make this issue feel more like a Postal issue, set in the world.

    Very pleased with the top line obviously. Would have loved to have had “a bit stiff” elaborated on more as I’m a little lost on whether this is in relation to the pace and fluidity or perhaps some of the content maybe being hard/dark.

    As for the rest, I’m pretty sure I understand this. My script was purposely made to look at some of the other 2000+ inhabitants of Eden while coinciding with previous Postal story arcs. My thinking was this would maybe be a fresh approach but absolutely appreciate certain aspects don’t make it feel like an issue of Postal I.e. good time spent on characters journeys to Eden rather than within it.

    All in all, I’m happy to have any feedback whatsoever so massive thanks to Top Cow for this and can’t wait to get back home (currently on vacation) to see where to adapt this and take it forward.

  10. #175

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    Quote Originally Posted by illapu05 View Post
    My feedback notes:
    "Jeff, I don't think this is a bad script at all, but I guess I'm worried that Postal readers don't *gain* anything from this story. It's not connected enough to the larger plot of the comic. Try and find a way to give it context."

    I was hmm "confused" in a way because the contest rules are the story should be standalone? I didn't want it to interfere with the larger plot of the comic based on that. But, I will give it more exposition based on this feedback.


    For a self-contained story, we can still add nuance to a character that had not been seen before. I think about Wolverine Annual from 1997. It had a poignant theme about humanity vs. visceral survival instinct. It added another shade of grey to the struggle between these two elements that Wolverine encounters, yet the story was still self-contained.

    I think of it like an episodic approach to storytelling. Self-contained stories are connected to the broader story by theme or character. Like when a television show has an episode adding more dimension to a seemingly foil character. So character growth, in my opinion, is the crux of giving readers something in a self-contained story. At least that's the approach we see most often in comics and television. A character is confronted with a new challenge that helps them grow. I think about early X-Files episodes before a fluid story line came into fruition.

    My mistake rested at the other end of the spectrum. I focused on character development, but the development didn't contribute to the self-contained story I created. So readers could see a new aspect of a particular character, but the growth I depicted wasn't relevant enough to the story I had developed. It was more of a superficial device I created to move the story forward. I'm starting to see the crossover elements could be more subtle without compromising the integrity of the story line I'm writing.

    Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud at this point.

  11. #176
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luthorcorp View Post
    Hello. I need to know to what e mail adress i send the feedback submission. I send to the same e mail adress? i need to indicate some specific thing in the subject or i the corps of the mail? Thanks!
    Feel free to send your completed submission in a new chain or in the old one, just note that it's revised. We run through things chronologically.

  12. #177
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    I'd love to come in here and give more detailed feedback to all of you, but that sets a really dangerous precedent where me and the rest of the team end up pulling even more time from current projects to spend all our energy on this Hunt. I'm sorry if any of you feel jilted or like your feedback wasn't detailed or catered enough to your submissions.

    Here's some advice that, I think, applies to almost all of these entries (and to writing comics in general, frankly):

    -Have someone else read your submission.
    Friend, coworker, writing buddy, arch-rival, whatever. You don't have to take their word as gospel truth, but a second set of eyes changes things pretty dramatically. You'd be amazed what they'll catch.
    -Read your dialogue out loud (even use "in character" voices, if you can). Dialogue is a low floor, high ceiling skill - if you've got a basic grasp of English, you're writing "proper" dialogue, but in truth, getting to a place where everything is simultaneously organic and story-poignant takes years of work. Even Big Two writers flub and struggle with this, especially on the first draft. And in a series like Postal, where Mark's voice is very tough to grasp, and other characters tend to speak a bit esoterically - or Think Tank, where the main character is a sarcastic dick but is coming from a place of brilliance mired by depression - grasping the particular voice of a character is difficult. It just takes work. Reading and rereading the series, plugging away at your scripts, channeling the way they think.
    -Take your time with your second draft. You have until December. Give it breathing room. You will get no bonus points whatsoever for turning in your final draft early. Make some edits, wait a week, then read it again - give your brain some time to plug away at the problem.
    -Don't spend the next two months freaking out about this. I completely understand, believe me - you want to win, and you want it very badly - and many of you are ready/deserving of winning this contest. But writing - comics writing, especially - is a frustrating climb paved with rejection and revision. For almost every creator at every level, barring the extreme outliers. There's no "once I accomplish this, I'll have X" or whatever. Last year, on average, I got at least one rejected pitch a month - and that's when editorial would have time to get back to me. It's a journey, about setting new goals every day or week or month and doing your best to hit them, but not flying into a rage when you don't. It's the ultimate marathon, and it's not a sprint - and definitely not a relay. Keep writing every day, and never put all your emotional or professional or creative eggs into one basket.

  13. #178
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    Additionally, one of the best oneshot authors out there is Tom King. You want an example of the best way to add to a greater narrative without interfering in it?

    Check out his Green Lantern Oneshot from Darkseid War, or his "Batman: Brave and the Mold" (Although, keep in mind, the Batman one treads into dangerous continuity waters, and it's the kind of thing they only let him do now that he's a big shot).

  14. #179
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    Davidmalyn,

    To me stiff implies not fluid. Could be a chunk of dialogue, or a plot device... It's likely not pacing. More likely than not, it's not seeming natural or realistic in some way. Nothing that feels realistic would feel stiff, true? So I'd look to spot these elements and fix.
    Last edited by seanterry25; 10-20-2017 at 04:58 PM.

  15. #180
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    Quick question on the Tithe, what is the name of Dwayne and Jimmy's boss? I've read through the first two volumes and I don't remember any mention of who they have to answer too or even work for.

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