Joss Whedon Is a ‘Hypocrite Preaching Feminist Ideals,’ Ex-Wife Kai Cole Says

[regnak]

Where is the proof? Where is the evidence? So far it's just libel. Libel which a lot of people want to believe because a) they don't like Whedon and are looking for reasons to confirm their pre-existing attitudes, and/or b) they're conditioned to believe that men are always villains and women are always victims.

There is not even an allegation here that Whedon pressured or intimidated anyone into having sex. Even in a worst-case scenario you can't get any "Whedon is a predator" conclusion out of this. At worst he's a cheater, which is a bad thing, but something he'd share with tens of millions of other men in this country. And none of those tens of millions are anyone's business but the principals involved.

Libel really? Has Whedon even denied her claims? If he does not deny it then it is much more likely to be true.

[Coin Biter]

[Removed because I decided in retrospect not to get involved.]

[Agent Z]

Where is the proof? Where is the evidence? So far it's just libel. Libel which a lot of people want to believe because a) they don't like Whedon and are looking for reasons to confirm their pre-existing attitudes, and/or b) they're conditioned to believe that men are always villains and women are always victims.

And I can easily turn this around by saying that people don’t want to believe this because they like Joss and are conditioned to believe a woman is lying or has some hidden agenda every time she calls out a man of high standing in society. And that belief is a lot more widespread than the idea that men are always the villains.

There is not even an allegation here that Whedon pressured or intimidated anyone into having sex. Even in a worst-case scenario you can't get any "Whedon is a predator" conclusion out of this.

I’d say the abuse of power dynamics between employer and employee paints him in that light.

At worst he's a cheater, which is a bad thing, but something he'd share with tens of millions of other men in this country. And none of those tens of millions are anyone's business but the principals involved.

If he’s using his position to have inappropriate relationships with employees then it becomes other people’s business. Like future employees.

Well as piggy as it is.It isn't illegal.

Has anyone claimed it is?

All the women he cheated with all consented (so far as we know) so no one safety is in danger.

See my response to Andrew above.

All this amounts to is a ex wife looking to hurt Whedon by publicly exposing him as a hypocrite.The thing is this could have negative effects for any actresses (past or present) who work with him since people are going to wonder if they sleeped their way to the top.

See also my response to Andrew. Also, if it does have negative affects on actresses he’s worked with it won’t be her fault.

[MikeP]

"Joss Whedon's ex-wife"...

Stopped reading right there. I really don't care about the personal lives of people I don't know.

[AndrewCrossett]

And I can easily turn this around by saying that people don’t want to believe this because they like Joss and are conditioned to believe a woman is lying or has some hidden agenda every time she calls out a man of high standing in society. And that belief is a lot more widespread than the idea that men are always the villains.

The burden of proof is on the accuser. Her allegations contain no proof, no evidence, and do not match any past data we have based on Whedon's actions or statements. Without that, we have someone pointing at someone else and screaming "Witch!"

"Joss Whedon's ex-wife"...

Stopped reading right there. I really don't care about the personal lives of people I don't know.

An ideal we should all strive for.

[Zero Hunter]

This is Hollywood we are talking about here. When in the alst 20 years has anything like this been kept secret? It just doesn't happen, especially on the scale his exwife is accusing him of. Someone would have talked years ago about this if it was as blatent as she is saying.

Angry bitter exwives are not now nor have they ever been the best source for the truth about their exes.

[AndrewCrossett]

This is Hollywood we are talking about here. When in the alst 20 years has anything like this been kept secret? It just doesn't happen, especially on the scale his exwife is accusing him of. Someone would have talked years ago about this if it was as blatent as she is saying.

Well, there are cases like Bill Cosby and Jimmy Savile where the mind boggles that such extensive misbehavior by people so famous could be concealed for so long. Sometimes the media can look the other way in the case of people they've chosen to deify. But Joss Whedon was never revered to the extend those two were, and in both cases there was below-the-radar chatter that just never made it to the headlines. There has been nothing like that in Whedon's case. Nearly all of his colleagues and cast members, male and female, seemed to genuinely like him and interact with him socially... retweeting him, saying enthusiastically good things about him in interviews, attending social gatherings at his home, volunteering to be in his pet productions like Dr. Horrible and Much Ado About Nothing for next to no pay.

The allegations just don't quite add up.

[Panic]

The burden of proof is on the accuser. Her allegations contain no proof, no evidence, and do not match any past data we have based on Whedon's actions or statements. Without that, we have someone pointing at someone else and screaming "Witch!"

Well this is a bit strong. Her allegations do contain evidence - her account, and the extracts from Joss' letter explaining why he came to cheat. Is it irrefutable evidence? No. If she has made up the letter, that is horrible and criminal and she should be taken to court or at least exposed. Do you think The Wrap would let her print extracts from it if they felt it was a forgery? I can't imagine they would, but perhaps they've been incredibly sloppy in their investigative work and have opened themselves up to a massive lawsuit. Time will tell.

Has Joss said the letter is a fabrication? No. His response to the article was:

“While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife.”

Now all this is evidence; what it isn't is conclusive proof.

Now I believe that he cheated, but then I heard those rumours such a long time ago I've lived with them for years, and have seen much of his behaviour in light cast by those rumours. I can imagine if you weren't aware of them you might be shocked, but they haven't come out of nowhere. Anyway, like I said I'm biased by previous rumours.

I don't believe that Joss was using his feminism as a shield against any backlash against his writing, I think his ex is being a bit petty there. I also don't believe he coerced women into bed using his position over them. Again, I think that's really too much. I do believe he used his job to get close to women he was attracted to, but then most guys would do that - but he was married, and he had been constantly displaying his pro-respect women ideals on his sleeve while disrespecting his wife. I admit I had been assuming all these years that she was in the know and they had some sort of agreement - I mean, lots of Buffy fans had heard about Joss' affairs, and if I'd heard rumours she must have. I can only assume he had been denying these things for years and she'd believed him, or at least found it easier to believe him than to end her marriage to him.

[Colossus1980]

I will still enjoy the Avenger movies. The Astonishing X-Men by Whedon is one of my favorite X-Men runs.

But I'm still puzzled by the disbelief Whedon did not cheat. Look at his position. Look at what he does for work. He has immense power. Women are going to be attracted to that. The majority of men who say they are monogamous would probably cheat because of the sheer opportunities. Unbelievable people would think he didn't cheat, several times.

[wjowski]

I wouldn't be at all surprised. Hollywood is rife with casting couch crap like this.

[KNIGHT OF THE LAKE]

I will still enjoy the Avenger movies. The Astonishing X-Men by Whedon is one of my favorite X-Men runs.

But I'm still puzzled by the disbelief Whedon did not cheat. Look at his position. Look at what he does for work. He has immense power. Women are going to be attracted to that. The majority of men who say they are monogamous would probably cheat because of the sheer opportunities. Unbelievable people would think he didn't cheat, several times.

Thats crap, no offense. Not every guy is so desperate for sex that they are going to cheat because they have opportunities too. For the most part if you are decent looking, can support yourself, and have a personality you will get plenty of opportunities. Whedon had power, but these were Hollywood actresses on hit television shows. Any one of them could have found an exceptionally good looking and wealthy man who they liked instead of throwing themselves at Whedon

[KNIGHT OF THE LAKE]

Well, there are cases like Bill Cosby and Jimmy Savile where the mind boggles that such extensive misbehavior by people so famous could be concealed for so long. Sometimes the media can look the other way in the case of people they've chosen to deify. But Joss Whedon was never revered to the extend those two were, and in both cases there was below-the-radar chatter that just never made it to the headlines. There has been nothing like that in Whedon's case. Nearly all of his colleagues and cast members, male and female, seemed to genuinely like him and interact with him socially... retweeting him, saying enthusiastically good things about him in interviews, attending social gatherings at his home, volunteering to be in his pet productions like Dr. Horrible and Much Ado About Nothing for next to no pay.

The allegations just don't quite add up.

Bill Cosby was NOT a secret. It was just very low key and alot of people didn't know about it. It was prominent enough though that Hannibal Burress said you could google Bill Cosby and rape and find loads of stuff. It just wasn't until someone with a platform said it that people paid attention. There's a lot of actors like that where it's public knowledge that they did something messed up and people just ignore it because it wasn't dragged through papers and it's not household information.

[Jokerz79]

There is no evidence Whedon did a damn thing but cheat and even that's just claims by his ex-wife. People on TV and films work long hours and spend more time together than with their spouses and families usually it's not hard to think relationships can happen. Is it right if he did cheat? No but it's human and between him and his ex.

[Colossus1980]

Thats crap, no offense. Not every guy is so desperate for sex that they are going to cheat because they have opportunities too. For the most part if you are decent looking, can support yourself, and have a personality you will get plenty of opportunities. Whedon had power, but these were Hollywood actresses on hit television shows. Any one of them could have found an exceptionally good looking and wealthy man who they liked instead of throwing themselves at Whedon

I wouldn't call it desperate, just too horny to stay loyal. But in Kai's essay it mentioned the affairs involved actresses, co-workers, fans, and friends. I'm guessing he slept with more of the non-actresses. I can imagine him being involved with a lot of the starry eyed fans. 15 years of infidelity? He's worked with numerous females on the years who are behind the scenes. Yeah, he's been around the block.

Read several comments on other boards where posters said Whedon used his feminist sthick to bed women. Believe those posters more than those who defend him.

[AndrewCrossett]

Read several comments on other boards where posters said Whedon used his feminist sthick to bed women. Believe those posters more than those who defend him.

As long as you admit that's based on nothing more than confirmation bias, and not on evidence.