Joss Whedon Is a ‘Hypocrite Preaching Feminist Ideals,’ Ex-Wife Kai Cole Says

[Za Waldo]

The Wrap has a pretty interesting article up about Joss Whedon, by his ex-wife Kai Cole. Seems like fairly unshocking stuff, paints a picture of Whedon as a guy who's a bit up (or a lot) his own ass, and whose public persona as some nerd feminist icon was something he used so people wouldn't question his writing, and so he could sleep around with other woman.

Despite understanding, on some level, that what he was doing was wrong, he never conceded the hypocrisy of being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away my right to make choices for my life and my body based on the truth. He deceived me for 15 years, so he could have everything he wanted. I believed, everyone believed, that he was one of the good guys, committed to fighting for women’s rights, committed to our marriage, and to the women he worked with. But I now see how he used his relationship with me as a shield, both during and after our marriage, so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.

I'd say I was shocked to learn his feminist grandstanding was party something he did so people wouldn't criticize his work, but then I've seen the work.

[Angilasman]

Although this is a more concrete thing, this is very much in line with what I've read some people (usually woman who are self-described feminists) say about Whedon for several years yet, often pointing out flaws and discrepancies in his supposed feminist messages and his deflecting of any criticism of those things.

- but, these people almost all say that they still love Buffy and that that show was an important part of their life and will remain so. The sad truth is that very often the creators who produce works that enrich our lives have personal failings. Isn't that old saying "don't meet your heroes" ?

[AndrewCrossett]

Damn, and here I thought he was Jesus.

[AndrewCrossett]

Because she's absolutely right, everything she says is the gospel truth, and there's only one side to this story. Even though I don't know her from Ethel Merman.

[The Negative Zone]

I wouldn't take this seriously. Pointless celebrity drama. None of us will never know the truth unless someone admits there was deception.

[Panic]

Anyone who was plugged into the Buffy fanbase back at the start knew all this already. Not a big shock, not really news.

[whiterabbit]

This doesn't change the fact his works are strongly feminist that empower women. He's a terrible husband and a horndog. Big deal. He's human and there are far worse things he could have in his closet. Go tell Bill Clinton and JFK they're the scum of the Earth and ignore any good they've done.

[jump]

I thought we knew to take Whedon's feminism with a pinch of salt with Age of Ultron. Talks up how Black Widow is more than just a love interest for the male Avengers in the first film then makes her only contribution to the second as the love interest, a week after declaring Jurassic World as sexist.

In any case this looks more a lover's tiff rather than something substantial.

[Vinsanity]

I really feel for her. Good that she spoke out.

[Cyke]

- but, these people almost all say that they still love Buffy and that that show was an important part of their life and will remain so. The sad truth is that very often the creators who produce works that enrich our lives have personal failings. Isn't that old saying "don't meet your heroes" ?

This doesn't change the fact his works are strongly feminist that empower women. He's a terrible husband and a horndog. Big deal. He's human...

Agreed to both that's the simple truth of the matter. As much as we look at people to be our heroes -- especially creators because their work resonates with us -- it's a painful reminder that oftentimes that work is more fiction than we'd like to believe, that intent and execution are two different things.

It doesn't validate their work because those ideas had to come from *somewhere* and has had a profound impact and created inspiration, but then there's disappointment when they don't live up to it, either.

...and there are far worse things he could have in his closet.

This is the only part I disagree with, only because it serves to minimize the severity of the matter. For some, especially his biggest fans who look up to him and cite him as a great example of an ally, this hurts a lot. The hypothetical harm he could have done in his closet is non-existent compared to the things he has indeed done, both good and bad.

[AndrewCrossett]

The Internet won't allow us to have heroes anymore. Maybe it's better that we don't.

What really pisses me off is that all the women and girls who were inspired by Buffy etc. are being told that was all a lie. And it wasn't.

[Panic]

Oh yeah, Buffy is still a great show. For that matter, Whedon is still one of the most talented writers working in the field, imo.

[Zero Hunter]

It is not always wise to take the word of an angry exwife as the whole truth when it comes to things like these.

[stargazer01]

Ex wife says...

I don't care about his private, marital problems. Just give me a great JL movie ok.

[Buried Alien]

Charles Dickens was a bit of a cad in his day, and yet his novels were replete with criticism of his fellow Englishmen for faults that he shared. Hypocrisy is part of the human condition, and those who proselytize are, naturally, most susceptible to it.

Buried alien (The Fastest Post Alive!)