"I rhyme with tyre - And cause pollution - I think you'll find - It's the best solution: What Am I?"
"And that's the essential problem with 'Planetary' right there. When Elijah Snow says, 'The world is a strange place'... he gets Dracula, Doc Savage and Godzilla... When we say it, we get The Captain Fire-Cock Rock 'n' Roll Spectacular."
~ Pól Rua
From a purely practical standpoint, this is why apologizing is a bad strategic move. The only reason to ever apologize is because your contrition is so true that you are willing to commit suicide for it. Otherwise obstinance is the smart play.
The question becomes what is the goal of demanding apologies?
Yes, but it represents a principle. There is a difference between the need for hard and clear rules for legal purposes and the squishiness of everyday life, but when we're framing legal rights as obstacles that we justify tossing as soon as it is permitted, I think we're in trouble.Edit: Never mind that an Amendment to the Constitution is supposed to protect you from The United States Government. Not a private outfit you are trying to get a job from.
Last edited by Tuck; 12-09-2018 at 10:19 AM. Reason: spelling
Way to miss the mark completely I'm talking about the PAST as in PAST comments and yes if you made racist, homophobic, misogynistic, xenophobic, anti-semetic comments years or even decades ago and have already addressed said comments and have shown through your actions since you're no longer that kind of person and not using that language no you shouldn't need to apologize again just because of some Johnny Come Latelies who want to feel morally superior. But if someone you said a comment to directly from your past comes forward and says "Hey that comment really hurt me back then" than yeah you owe them an apology.
I brought up the Hang Over films which 1 and 2 came out during this time when Hart made his comments those films had Homophobic and Transphobic jokes Hangover 2 has a whole scene dedicated to the "joke" a guy slept with a transsexual woman. Should the hangover actors apology? Should the Director or Writers? What about the Producers or Studio? Heck the Studios of Hollywood have a lot to apologize for their problematic past. My point is where does it end? We have enough problems in this world and don't need to drag people thru the coals for comments they made years ago judge a person by their actions now or else we'll be living in the past forever and never moving forward.
Oh before another false equivalent is made no if your past includes crimes than you should answer for them I'm talking about personal behavior not crimes.
Last edited by Jokerz79; 12-09-2018 at 10:25 AM.
"I rhyme with tyre - And cause pollution - I think you'll find - It's the best solution: What Am I?"
"And that's the essential problem with 'Planetary' right there. When Elijah Snow says, 'The world is a strange place'... he gets Dracula, Doc Savage and Godzilla... When we say it, we get The Captain Fire-Cock Rock 'n' Roll Spectacular."
~ Pól Rua
Demanding people explain the behavior of their 14-year-old selves is pernicious.
(And I'm being generous.)
That gets a bit problematic. With actors, we sometimes draw little distinction between what an actor says and what a character he plays says. With professional wrestlers, we usually draw absolutely no distinction.
We forget that Dwayne Johnson did not make those homophobic remarks. The Rock made them, a character he played.
We can argue whether he had any creative control or whether he could have just refused to say them. But it still comes down to drawing no distinction between the actor and the fictional character.
Power with Girl is better.
All I get out of this is "Bull".
You should not get to decide when your apology is acceptable. That should fall on the people that your behavior toward created a need for you to apologize to them.
If that means you have to apologize eight or nine times, tough luck. Hopefully, you will have learned to think before you do something stupid by about the seventh time you have to apologize for what was truly unacceptable behavior.
As for "It Represents A Principle...", no it doesn't . It's just an attempt to group two things that have nothing to do with each other.
- One is a protection against the state trying to trump up a case on you as payback.
- The other is nothing like that. It is about that some heinous behavior might need more than the apology you personally believe is owed.
Nobody (especially comedians) are going to keep on apologizing for stuff they say (especially jokes) because random people online demand they apologize.
You aren’t going to change behavior that way, you just gonna make people stop caring.
A world without forgiveness is a world that discourages remorse. And that's a world that will progressively deteriorate. (There are plenty of unsavory groups waiting with open arms for those disposed of by "polite society".)
And I long ago lost patience for the idea that one side of a communication controls its meaning. Sometimes a person's apology will be insincere (honestly most internet apologies are, they're simply damage control at this point) and it's fair not to accept it. And sometimes a peson's apology is sincere, empathetic, heartfelt, and the other person is unreasonable, and it's not fair to not accept it . . . and frankly constitutes abuse at a certain point.)
In any case, someone repeatedly told (commanded) to apologize is in a lose-lose situation. Anything that comes after that is "only because they were forced to" and therefor not seen as sincere.
People need to decide if they want apologies to demonstrate understanding, empathy, and growth, or if it's just score keeping in some pointless game we're all stuck in.
Last edited by Tuck; 12-10-2018 at 09:35 AM.
Yes. If it's the person or group originally wronged, saying that the initial apology wasn't good enough, then sure, go ahead and apologize again and again until you get it right. But if it's someone who comes along 5 years later, who wasn't paying attention the first time, and wants a personal apology now, that's just arrogance and ego talking.