Downtown Khazan: Ice Cold Utopia

[Sub-Zero MKA]

I’ve heard it’s different depending on the specific vaccine in question.

I'm getting the J&J one, so I have to stay at the place I'm getting the shot at for an hour so they can monitor my side effects.

[Fervidor]

So... my mother is dying. Heck, she may be dead already for all I know. They didn't expect her to last until Friday, but it's now Wednesday evening, so who knows?

I would say the cause is cancer, but that's not technically correct. The tumor is a slow-growing type - on it's own, it wouldn't have killed her quite so quickly. We pretty much knew it was a death sentence at her age, but we didn't expect it so soon.

Actually, she's starving to death, though that sounds worse than is is. As I understand it, she doesn't really feel hunger anymore. Also, she has access to as much morphine as she wants and is being looked over by professionals. Basically, her tumor was cutting off the blood supply to her stomach. They tried to surgically insert a shunt to open her blood vessels up and get her digestion going again, but there were complications involving blood clots. Turns out, her entire digestive system has necrotized due to oxygen deprivation. She literally can't eat food ever again.

When I got the news, my sister told me to pack everything I needed for a night away from home because all of us siblings were going to drive a damned third of the entire country to Uppsala so we could see her one last time. It occurred to me that this was basically like one of those unplanned road trips in the movies. A shame it had to happen under those conditions.

When we met her, she was all skin and bones, very different from the woman I'd said goodbye to a mere three weeks later. I could see the outline of her skeleton under her skin. I guess that sounds horrible, but in a way it helped. She looked to me like a wilted flower - literally like one I had left at home, having forgotten to water properly. It made it all seem more real, somehow. Anyway, not everyone gets to say their farewells on a beloved's deathbed, so I guess I'm a bit lucky that way. I told her that everything that had gone right in my life was because of her. She told me I was the most beautiful person she'd ever known. I think it was a fair exchange, all things considered.

Not even sure why I'm typing all of this, it just felt like I should tell someone. Don't worry about me, though. I've been prepared for this for some time and I'll be fine.

[Nik Hasta]

That's pretty similar to how I lost my dad. With him it was liver cancer.

We went to the Fringe Festival and did our usual punishing schedule of 7 - 8 shows a day hiking across the city and he kept up and only had the minor complaint of a small but persistent pain in his side. Then, a few weeks later, he got diagnosed, then in three months he was a skeleton man and died shortly thereafter.

It's rough man. Cancer is a horrendous bastard.

All the best to you mate. There's no correct way to do grief. Be with people you love, do what you got to do and try not damage yourself.

We're here if you want to vent or talk about regular dumb ****.

[Sub-Zero MKA]

Damn, that's rough Ghost. Wishing you and your family the best and hope the grieving process goes smoothly and safely.

[master of read]

So... my mother is dying. Heck, she may be dead already for all I know. They didn't expect her to last until Friday, but it's now Wednesday evening, so who knows?

I would say the cause is cancer, but that's not technically correct. The tumor a slow-growing type - on it's own, it wouldn't have killed her quite so quickly. We pretty much knew it was a death sentence at her age, but we didn't expect it so soon.

Actually, she's starving to death, though that sounds worse that is is. As I understand it, she doesn't really feel hunger anymore. Also, she has access to as much morphine as she wants and is being looked over by professionals. Basically, her tumor was cutting off blood supply to her stomach. They tried to surgically insert a shunt to open her blood vessels up and get her digestion going again, but there were complications involving blood clots. Turns out, her entire digestive system has necrotized due to oxygen deprivation. She literally can't eat food ever again.

When I got the news, my sister told me to pack everything I needed for a night away from home because all of us siblings were going to drive a damned third of the entire country to Uppsala so we could see her one last time. It occurred to me that this was basically like one of those unplanned road trips in the movies. A shame it had to happen under those conditions.

When we met her, she was all skin and bones, very different from the woman I'd said goodbye to a mere three weeks later. I could see the outline of her skeleton under her skin. I guess that sounds horrible, but in a way it helped. She looked to me like a wilted flower - literally like one I had left at home, having forgotten to water properly. It made it all seem more real, somehow. Anyway, not everyone gets to say their farewells on a beloved's deathbed, so I guess I'm a bit lucky that way. I told her that everything that had gone right in my life was because of her. She told me I was the most beautiful person she'd ever known. I think it was a fair exchange, all things considered.

Not even sure why I'm typing all of this, it just felt like I should tell someone. Don't worry about me, though. I've been prepared for this for some time and I'll be fine.

sucks, friend-o.

you ever need to talk about ****, we here for you.

[Jcogginsa]

*Gives Ghost a hug*

[Dark Soul # 7]

So... my mother is dying. Heck, she may be dead already for all I know. They didn't expect her to last until Friday, but it's now Wednesday evening, so who knows?

I would say the cause is cancer, but that's not technically correct. The tumor a slow-growing type - on it's own, it wouldn't have killed her quite so quickly. We pretty much knew it was a death sentence at her age, but we didn't expect it so soon.

Actually, she's starving to death, though that sounds worse that is is. As I understand it, she doesn't really feel hunger anymore. Also, she has access to as much morphine as she wants and is being looked over by professionals. Basically, her tumor was cutting off blood supply to her stomach. They tried to surgically insert a shunt to open her blood vessels up and get her digestion going again, but there were complications involving blood clots. Turns out, her entire digestive system has necrotized due to oxygen deprivation. She literally can't eat food ever again.

When I got the news, my sister told me to pack everything I needed for a night away from home because all of us siblings were going to drive a damned third of the entire country to Uppsala so we could see her one last time. It occurred to me that this was basically like one of those unplanned road trips in the movies. A shame it had to happen under those conditions.

When we met her, she was all skin and bones, very different from the woman I'd said goodbye to a mere three weeks later. I could see the outline of her skeleton under her skin. I guess that sounds horrible, but in a way it helped. She looked to me like a wilted flower - literally like one I had left at home, having forgotten to water properly. It made it all seem more real, somehow. Anyway, not everyone gets to say their farewells on a beloved's deathbed, so I guess I'm a bit lucky that way. I told her that everything that had gone right in my life was because of her. She told me I was the most beautiful person she'd ever known. I think it was a fair exchange, all things considered.

Not even sure why I'm typing all of this, it just felt like I should tell someone. Don't worry about me, though. I've been prepared for this for some time and I'll be fine.

Damn dude. That sounds tough, to say the least. But at least you can be with her for now.

Your grief and however you want to deal with it is all yours. No wrong way to go. Just remember that you're loved and that we're all here for whatever you want to talk about.

Kort sagt på modersmålet vårt, ta hand om dig min vän.

[Tami]

So... my mother is dying. Heck, she may be dead already for all I know. They didn't expect her to last until Friday, but it's now Wednesday evening, so who knows?

I would say the cause is cancer, but that's not technically correct. The tumor a slow-growing type - on it's own, it wouldn't have killed her quite so quickly. We pretty much knew it was a death sentence at her age, but we didn't expect it so soon.

Actually, she's starving to death, though that sounds worse that is is. As I understand it, she doesn't really feel hunger anymore. Also, she has access to as much morphine as she wants and is being looked over by professionals. Basically, her tumor was cutting off blood supply to her stomach. They tried to surgically insert a shunt to open her blood vessels up and get her digestion going again, but there were complications involving blood clots. Turns out, her entire digestive system has necrotized due to oxygen deprivation. She literally can't eat food ever again.

When I got the news, my sister told me to pack everything I needed for a night away from home because all of us siblings were going to drive a damned third of the entire country to Uppsala so we could see her one last time. It occurred to me that this was basically like one of those unplanned road trips in the movies. A shame it had to happen under those conditions.

When we met her, she was all skin and bones, very different from the woman I'd said goodbye to a mere three weeks later. I could see the outline of her skeleton under her skin. I guess that sounds horrible, but in a way it helped. She looked to me like a wilted flower - literally like one I had left at home, having forgotten to water properly. It made it all seem more real, somehow. Anyway, not everyone gets to say their farewells on a beloved's deathbed, so I guess I'm a bit lucky that way. I told her that everything that had gone right in my life was because of her. She told me I was the most beautiful person she'd ever known. I think it was a fair exchange, all things considered.

Not even sure why I'm typing all of this, it just felt like I should tell someone. Don't worry about me, though. I've been prepared for this for some time and I'll be fine.

I'm glad you have us here as a place to talk about this, and I'm so sorry about your mother.

[bruceleegreyhulk]

[Cleric of Hell’s Brigade]

Thoughts and prayers, Ghost.

[bruceleegreyhulk]

You have my condolence, Ghost.

[Fervidor]

Thanks, you guys. Honestly, the one I'm worried about the most is my father.

I'm... emotionally resilient by now. Due to my neurodevelopmental disorder, entropy has always been an old enemy of mine. That means I know how to prepare myself for loss, whenever I see it coming. It will be difficult and stressful and there will be pain, but I think I can abide with this.

But dad... Well, he's an old-school kind of guy. "Stiff upper lip" type dude, doesn't like opening up and talking about his feelings. Also, he almost certainly has some form of mental disorder of his own that has gone undiagnosed because that just wasn't done during his generation. He's been at mom's side this whole time and we can all tell it's taking a serious emotional and mental toll on him. But unless he chooses to accept that, we can't do anything for him.

This is a guy who starts talking to himself if he's alone in a room for over half an hour. I really don't know if he'll be able to handle life as a widower.

[Tami]

Thanks, you guys. Honestly, the one I'm worried about the most is my father.

I'm... emotionally resilient by now. Due to my neurodevelopmental disorder, entropy has always been an old enemy of mine. That means I know how to prepare myself for loss, whenever I see it coming. It will be difficult and stressful and there will be pain, but I think I can abide with this.

But dad... Well, he's an old-school kind of guy. "Stiff upper lip" type dude, doesn't like opening up and talking about his feelings. Also, he almost certainly has some form of mental disorder of his own that has gone undiagnosed because that just wasn't done during his generation. He's been at mom's side this whole time and we can all tell it's taking a serious emotional and mental toll on him. But unless he chooses to accept that, we can't do anything for him.

This is a guy who starts talking to himself if he's alone in a room for over half an hour. I really don't know if he'll be able to handle life as a widower.

My father died somewhat unexpectedly in his early 60's and my mother didn't handle it well. If she was living alone, if I hadn't decided to move in with her, I think it might have been much harder for her to deal with.

All I can suggest is that, if possible, try not to have him live alone. Being alone is hard normally, being alone after losing someone like that is even worse. I mean, you know the situation much better than I do, but that's the only suggestion I can make. I hope it works out for him, that he can move forward, despite the loss, grief, and pain.

[Fervidor]

My father died somewhat unexpectedly in his early 60's and my mother didn't handle it well. If she was living alone, if I hadn't decided to move in with her, I think it might have been much harder for her to deal with.

All I can suggest is that, if possible, try not to have him live alone. Being alone is hard normally, being alone after losing someone like that is even worse. I mean, you know the situation much better than I do, but that's the only suggestion I can make. I hope it works out for him, that he can move forward, despite the loss, grief, and pain.

Well, good news is, despite actually having a nice apartment of my own that I'm still paying for, I've been staying at their house for a fairly long while now - partly because I'm very unwilling to let go of my childhood home, and also because of all this corona bullshit. So, you know, at least he's not coming back to an empty house. For now, I ain't going nowhere.

To be honest, me and the old man hasn't always seen eye to eye. I can't even say I've ever really liked him: He's not a bad man, we're just very different and don't quite understand one another. But there's no way in hell I'm leaving him to deal with this alone. I refuse to be that guy. All of my life I've felt the need of a constant, something to anchor myself to. So, maybe, it's time for me to play that role for once.

[Iron_Twister]

We're here for you, Ghost. I know that's obvious but a reminder you got friends here to be there for you is always a plus.

...But yeah, thoughts and prayers for you and your family.