What would we do without these delightfully biting comedic posts you drop Sir Flex Hectic?Wakanda.
Black Friday.
The market district.
King T'challa strolled casually eyeing the various sales featured at the vibranium swap meet followed closely by a small team of Doras.
T'challa: "See anything you like... There is a plethora of fine merchandise here in Wakanda cousin."
Killmonger: "Personally I think you are stalling COUSIN."
T'challa: "Oh that... Clearly the elders will need 'WEEKS' to prepare for the challenge so why not enjoy Wakanda and all it has to offer son of N'jobobobobobo."
Killmonger: "You mispronounce my daddy's name one more time..."
T'challa: "No fighting before the official challenge... Oh look over there excellent apparel to replace this Vegeta look don't you think."
Killmonger: "I don't care about no shopping I found panther claws in my daddy's chest!"
T'challa: "This is authentic Bashenga leather and it's on sale too."
Killmonger: "If you are the king why are you paying for stuff."
T'challa: "Could you pack this and have it sent to the royal palace thanks."
Store clerk folds up sweater when...
Killmonger: "Wait let me try it on at least."
T'challa: "Dressing rooms are right over there take your time."
As Killmonger leaves to sample the new apparel T'challa tweaks a Kimoyo bead.
T'challa: "Shuri what do you have for me?"
Shuri: "Our Wardog connects link Killmonger to various shady organizations."
T'challa: "Anything I can use to show the elders?"
Shuri: "Let's see... Oakland... Too Short... MC Hammer... He's a Raiders fan although he does have ties to Kaepernick."
T'challa: "I'm not worried about him kneeling for the Wakandan flag... Anything juicy?"
Shuri: "Strip clubs... A couple of baby mama dramas... Oh interesting..."
T'challa: "What?"
Shuri: "He has a thing for cute collectables I'm sending the specs over to you right now."
T'challa: "NO WAY!"
Shuri: "Run with it and see what happens... I'll send you more as I learn."
T'challa: "Thanks Shuri."
Shuri: "To be honest though... I was hoping that you would just kick his @$$ and get it over with."
As Shuri fades from the Kimoyo digital display Killmonger returns...
Killmonger: "It fits like a glove... Can I get a couple more in different colors?"
T'challa: "Sure... Let's also check out another store that just opened up in Wakanda."
The Disney Store.
Killmonger is overcome with emotion as he beholds an unbelievable sight.
Tears form in his eyes as he reaches towards the stacked shelf and grabs a...
Killmonger: "Baby Yoda!!!"
T'challa: "Who would have thought..."
Killmonger: "After my daddy died the orphanage took us on a field trip to Skywalker Ranch... Master Yoda was there for me when I needed him most."
T'challa: "Go figure... So what would a Jedi do in this circumstance?"
Killmonger swallows and in his best Frank Oz voice says...
Killmonger: "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
Just then Killmonger reverts back to his childhood and falls to the ground curled up in the fetal position and begins to weep incessantly.
T'challa: "Do you yield then?"
Killmonger: "YES, I YIELD... I want my daddy!!!"
The kimoyo bead ignites again...
Shuri: "Who is currently writing you right at this moment because I miss that old two steps ahead/three steps ahead vibe you had way back when. Genius."
T'challa: "Black Friday... Baby Yoda!"
Shuri: "Still should have kicked his @$$ properly but whatever."
T'challa: "You mean Wakanda Forever!"
Baby Yoda: "May the force be with Wakanda."
Shuri: "AWWWW he's so cuuuuuute... I want one!"
T'challa: "Please send a couple of these to the royal palace."
The store clerk begins to pull more Baby Yoda's off the shelf.
Shuri: "Don't forget Queen Mother, Nakia, Okoye and Everett Ross is still locked in the office he might want one... Oh and Bucky too!"