People say that HoM was destructive because it was. The character was factually changed and used as a plot device for the story. Then thrown away for 7 years, and was never restored to her previous status. That's just a thing that happened. It's not like saying you like the color blue.
Saying that the Mags link was damaging is just saying what happened in canon. And it shouldn't be offensive. But I guess going through actual canon is offensive also these days. You have to live on Tumblr and hold onto Magnus family art in fandom anymore. Or else that's not inviting.