I'm not ignoring that there are potentially less aggresive alternative... I just don't know if any of those alternatives would have worked. Either way the X-Men didn't seem to trying to use them, so it's sort of moot whether or not they would have worked because as far as we can see they weren't even trying.
It's simply a question of whether or not Hope would continue hanging out with the X-Men doing nothing, or whether she would join the Avengers to resolve the matter. The latter option would result in conflict... but it at least was something. Which is more than what we got with her staying with the X-Men. Again, that's why she left. Doing things the X-Men's way simply wasn't working.