If they had at least tried to write a good story around their harebrained scheme that might be something. Instead they just said here's the reasons accept them and it's not our fault that the story sucks or words to that effect. The idea being that people would be angry regardless and there would be a backlash. Well yes there would be, but there's a degree to that. People might have had issues with Gwen Stacy dying but they got a great story in the bargain, and the backlash which lasted a year or two entirely faded by the time Conway wrote his last issue with many people agreeing that it was a good story. The reasons for that is Conway wrote a great story and executed his ideas well. If it was done poorly, like say Alexandra DeWitt being literally stuffed inside a fridge by Major Force, it would have remained an outrage.
If you want to do a big controversial move, whether it's say ending the infinite multiverse of the DC Universe (COIE), doing a story where Barbara Gordon gets crippled (The Killing Joke), or saying that a number of characters we had known were Skrulls (Secret Invasion) if you want to sell that concept, you damn well better give your best.
Not sure if the backlash to TLJ which included racist and sexist people and so on, ought to be put in the same boat as OMD which is fundamentally opposed to the sexist and adolescent conception of marriage that Quesada and others want people to accept, in addition to the dog-whistle sexism that was there in BND.
More than that, while I am not a big fan of The Last Jedi...it's certainly an accomplished work, with solid craft, excellent character bits, decent writing and visual beauty. OMD has none of those things.
The backlash over OMD is more closely related to the sh-tty finale of GOT. The hot anger and outrage and the laughing stock it made of the showrunners is quite reminiscent of that. Though got to give credit to Quesada, he did interviews after OMD and OMIT and after that talking about it, while the showrunners are holed up somewhere in a hidey hole. Quesada for all his flaws is not a coward, I'll give him that.
Speaking personally, I did try and get over OMD. But anytime I tried, the anger comes back fresh as a daisy. The anger that OMD provoked in the fandom is unusual because it's just as hot today as it was the day it came out. That's not the problem of the fandom, it's the problem of the story and Marvel.
At the end of the day it's not the job of fans to do Marvel's job for themselves. We don't get paid money to be nice to Marvel. It's not in our interests to do so. It's up to Marvel to choose to do something about it. If not well they just have to live with that anger. I am sure it's not fun for Marvel editors and others on tumblr and wherever to constantly field opinions and questions about the marriage which they get repeatedly on multiple occasions and will continue to do so going forward.
Even Mark Waid is regretful and bothered around the collar when he discussed OMD briefly in this podcast near the end around the end of Slott's run. (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Uvvdv8AZPk). It's still "the elephant in the room" and it's obvious that nothing that was done in Spider-Man since has made people get over that issue as everyone believed it would.