Originally Posted by
Ulfhammer
Nothing that's happened made it less iconic, as in the ultimate representation of an X-Men romance. They've got too much history to lose that achievement. It's not how "iconic" it is that interests me personally, it's the strength of the bond between the two characters, it's their history, and yes it's there struggles.
The X-Men is at it's heart, a story of finding hope in a shared struggle. Charles rounded up five oddball teenagers and forged them into a team. Time, maturity and adversity forged them into a family. In many ways Jean and Scott's relationship is the ultimate expression of that. They represent the strongest, and longest lasting connection between any two X-Men. Found family yes, but found lovers and confidantes even more so. They have unfailing had each other's backs over the many years of their shared adventures and somehow, have managed to live along they way. They represent for the X-Men, an example of two people who have found their way through the chaos. They fell in love, were separated, reunited and married and they've raised a child together. They did all that in the context of perhaps the most relationship unfriendly lifestyle and experiences possible. No other X-Men couple has come close to the level of mutual commitment they've shown.
At their best they compliment each other perfectly. Scott's steady, common sense approach serves to ground Jean's metaphysical and emotionally centered world and gives her some bedrock to work with when her more chaotic side takes over. She adores his mind and has a deep respect for his level of commitment and his abilities. For her part, Jean facilitates his emotional expression in way he so often struggles to do on his own. She softens his rougher edges and she curbs his more radical and single-minded tendencies. She's brave and bold in a way Scott struggles to be, and inspires him to cling to the better aspects of his nature. She's a big part of why he fights, evident from the decided lack of fight he has in him when she dies.
Beyond their basic compatibility, there's a real acceptance and commitment to overcome the challenges in the relationship. Despite the fact that Jean comes preloaded with a Phoenix powered time bomb, Scott never shies away from his love for her. He knows from experience that there will be tough times ahead for them, and he fears for their future but his radical belief in their ability to overcome any challenge keeps him buckled in. He's willing to let her flames burn him, to ash if necessary. She's also headstrong, impulsive and has an impressive temper, but Scott tends to take it all in stride. For Jean's part, she accepts Scott's built in relationship deficiencies. She's patient with his moody nature and his struggles to communicate his emotions. She understands his bizarre relationship with grief, his fierce need for control and she has a deep compassion for his troubled psyche, seeing more clearly, and more completely into him than anyone else.
Of course, as we all know, they're not always at their best. This relationship does have negative elements, or rather the capability for negative elements that some writers can lean into. It's easy for Jean to take reliable Scott for granted I think. It's just as easy for Scott to rely too much on Jean's telepathy to avoid difficult emotional challenges in their relationship. Instead of helping him grow emotionally, she could be a crutch. As we saw in NXM, this is exactly the kind of vulnerability that Morrison could run with.
That said, when the two of them fight for each other and their relationship, there's no adversity they can't overcome. They are indelibly imprinted onto each other lives and are each other's first, best destiny. It is precisely because of these facts that they're relationship breakdowns in NXM are so difficult to accept. So why do I still care when everything I wrote pretty much became moot almost two decades ago? That mostly comes down to my belief that their bond is unbreakable. No matter what happens down the line, they will find their way back to each other, because they want to be together. That has been shown over and over from early X-Men issues in the 60's and every decade since, including in the last few months.