They Sit and Talk: Uncle Ben and Pa Kent

[SpiderClops]

This is the Raimiverse Uncle Ben and DCEU Pa Kent. How does it go?

[Powerboy]

Oh this is not going to go well.

In fairness, anything I'd have Uncle Ben say would be a cheat. When he was talking about great power, he was talking about Peter's human potential, his intellectual abilities. He didn't know Peter would have super powers. Nor would the existence of Spider-Man change the whole human race's view of itself in the universe. It would be unlikely to affect religions or philosophies to any significant extent.

Whatever else you can say about Pa Kent in the DCEU, he was a character living in a realistic modern world where a significant part of the population wants to kick out immigrants and has a "If one of them did it, they all did it" racist mentality. In this setting, people are not going to just joyfully accept an immigrant from another planet with the power of a living atomic bomb and it really is going to cause religious upheaval.

Given the context of their respective world settings, you're just going to have two people from vastly different worlds and with different life experiences throwing epithets at each other about what is the best approach to guiding and protecting their respective children.

[greatmetropolitan]

Ben: Good boy you've got there.

Pa: Thank you, sir. Your nephew, he's something else.

Ben: Yeah. Good boy, Peter. Smart boy. Too sensitive, maybe, but that's a good thing in the long run.

Pa: He listen to you?

Ben: Peter? Mostly. Almost always. Almost. And your boy?

Pa: Clark?

Ben: Clark, I'm sorry, Clark. He listen?

Pa: A little too well, I think. You know how it is. You want to wrap them up in cotton wool till you think they're ready for the big wide world... I let him down, I know that.

Ben: Mr Kent, I don't know you that well, but something tells me you're talking out your ass.

Jon looks shocked. They laugh.

Ben: You just wanted to keep him safe. I don't care if he can bounce bullets off his chest, he's still your boy. I used to tell Pete, I told him, "With great power, there must also come great responsibility." Your Clark... I can't imagine the weight on his shoulders. And you knew it'd be like that and you did your best to prepare him for it, hide him from it, even. I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same.

Pa: Thanks, Ben. I appreciate it.

Ben: I mean it, Jon. When I look at Pete... I said that responsibility thing so often I think he blames himself for everything that goes wrong in the whole world. He hates himself, I think. Because of what happened. And that's on me.

Pa: I've shoveled enough bullcrap in my time to know it when I hear it, Ben.

They laugh again.

Pa: Your let your boy be a boy and raised him to be a good man. You didn't hide him from the world. That's why he tries to save it. Not half as strong as Clark, just as much heart, just as much guts. I'd be proud as hell if he were mine.

Ben: The world wasn't terrified of my boy, Jon. They were so scared of yours and he fought for them anyway. Doesn't do it cos he feels responsible or guilty. Does it cos it's the right thing to do and that's who he is. Who you made him. They put him in handcuffs on day one and he died for 'em. They named him right, that's for sure.

Pa: They're doing OK, right? We did OK.

Ben: We did OK. We're just men who did our best. Just like our boys. All we can ask.

[Guy1]

Ben: Good boy you've got there.

Pa: Thank you, sir. Your nephew, he's something else.

Ben: Yeah. Good boy, Peter. Smart boy. Too sensitive, maybe, but that's a good thing in the long run.

Pa: He listen to you?

Ben: Peter? Mostly. Almost always. Almost. And your boy?

Pa: Clark?

Ben: Clark, I'm sorry, Clark. He listen?

Pa: A little too well, I think. You know how it is. You want to wrap them up in cotton wool till you think they're ready for the big wide world... I let him down, I know that.

Ben: Mr Kent, I don't know you that well, but something tells me you're talking out your ass.

Jon looks shocked. They laugh.

Ben: You just wanted to keep him safe. I don't care if he can bounce bullets off his chest, he's still your boy. I used to tell Pete, I told him, "With great power, there must also come great responsibility." Your Clark... I can't imagine the weight on his shoulders. And you knew it'd be like that and you did your best to prepare him for it, hide him from it, even. I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same.

Pa: Thanks, Ben. I appreciate it.

Ben: I mean it, Jon. When I look at Pete... I said that responsibility thing so often I think he blames himself for everything that goes wrong in the whole world. He hates himself, I think. Because of what happened. And that's on me.

Pa: I've shoveled enough bullcrap in my time to know it when I hear it, Ben.

They laugh again.

Pa: Your let your boy be a boy and raised him to be a good man. You didn't hide him from the world. That's why he tries to save it. Not half as strong as Clark, just as much heart, just as much guts. I'd be proud as hell if he were mine.

Ben: The world wasn't terrified of my boy, Jon. They were so scared of yours and he fought for them anyway. Doesn't do it cos he feels responsible or guilty. Does it cos it's the right thing to do and that's who he is. Who you made him. They put him in handcuffs on day one and he died for 'em. They named him right, that's for sure.

Pa: They're doing OK, right? We did OK.

Ben: We did OK. We're just men who did our best. Just like our boys. All we can ask.

[Powerboy]

Ben: Good boy you've got there.

Pa: Thank you, sir. Your nephew, he's something else.

Ben: Yeah. Good boy, Peter. Smart boy. Too sensitive, maybe, but that's a good thing in the long run.

Pa: He listen to you?

Ben: Peter? Mostly. Almost always. Almost. And your boy?

Pa: Clark?

Ben: Clark, I'm sorry, Clark. He listen?

Pa: A little too well, I think. You know how it is. You want to wrap them up in cotton wool till you think they're ready for the big wide world... I let him down, I know that.

Ben: Mr Kent, I don't know you that well, but something tells me you're talking out your ass.

Jon looks shocked. They laugh.

Ben: You just wanted to keep him safe. I don't care if he can bounce bullets off his chest, he's still your boy. I used to tell Pete, I told him, "With great power, there must also come great responsibility." Your Clark... I can't imagine the weight on his shoulders. And you knew it'd be like that and you did your best to prepare him for it, hide him from it, even. I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same.

Pa: Thanks, Ben. I appreciate it.

Ben: I mean it, Jon. When I look at Pete... I said that responsibility thing so often I think he blames himself for everything that goes wrong in the whole world. He hates himself, I think. Because of what happened. And that's on me.

Pa: I've shoveled enough bullcrap in my time to know it when I hear it, Ben.

They laugh again.

Pa: Your let your boy be a boy and raised him to be a good man. You didn't hide him from the world. That's why he tries to save it. Not half as strong as Clark, just as much heart, just as much guts. I'd be proud as hell if he were mine.

Ben: The world wasn't terrified of my boy, Jon. They were so scared of yours and he fought for them anyway. Doesn't do it cos he feels responsible or guilty. Does it cos it's the right thing to do and that's who he is. Who you made him. They put him in handcuffs on day one and he died for 'em. They named him right, that's for sure.

Pa: They're doing OK, right? We did OK.

Ben: We did OK. We're just men who did our best. Just like our boys. All we can ask.

We so need a Like button.

[SpiderClops]

Ben: Good boy you've got there.

Pa: Thank you, sir. Your nephew, he's something else.

Ben: Yeah. Good boy, Peter. Smart boy. Too sensitive, maybe, but that's a good thing in the long run.

Pa: He listen to you?

Ben: Peter? Mostly. Almost always. Almost. And your boy?

Pa: Clark?

Ben: Clark, I'm sorry, Clark. He listen?

Pa: A little too well, I think. You know how it is. You want to wrap them up in cotton wool till you think they're ready for the big wide world... I let him down, I know that.

Ben: Mr Kent, I don't know you that well, but something tells me you're talking out your ass.

Jon looks shocked. They laugh.

Ben: You just wanted to keep him safe. I don't care if he can bounce bullets off his chest, he's still your boy. I used to tell Pete, I told him, "With great power, there must also come great responsibility." Your Clark... I can't imagine the weight on his shoulders. And you knew it'd be like that and you did your best to prepare him for it, hide him from it, even. I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same.

Pa: Thanks, Ben. I appreciate it.

Ben: I mean it, Jon. When I look at Pete... I said that responsibility thing so often I think he blames himself for everything that goes wrong in the whole world. He hates himself, I think. Because of what happened. And that's on me.

Pa: I've shoveled enough bullcrap in my time to know it when I hear it, Ben.

They laugh again.

Pa: Your let your boy be a boy and raised him to be a good man. You didn't hide him from the world. That's why he tries to save it. Not half as strong as Clark, just as much heart, just as much guts. I'd be proud as hell if he were mine.

Ben: The world wasn't terrified of my boy, Jon. They were so scared of yours and he fought for them anyway. Doesn't do it cos he feels responsible or guilty. Does it cos it's the right thing to do and that's who he is. Who you made him. They put him in handcuffs on day one and he died for 'em. They named him right, that's for sure.

Pa: They're doing OK, right? We did OK.

Ben: We did OK. We're just men who did our best. Just like our boys. All we can ask.

I need this thing in a crossover comic book.

[greatmetropolitan]

We so need a Like button.

I need this thing in a crossover comic book.

You're all very kind! Thank you.

[Beadle]

Greatmetropolitan, that is extraordinary.

[greatmetropolitan]

Greatmetropolitan, that is extraordinary.

D'aww, thanks dude!

[Huntsman Spider]

It is almost exactly the kind of exchange I could imagine happening if those two met each other in the heaven reserved for fathers (or father figures) of superheroes that actually did a good job raising their kids. Kudos. All the kudos. No wonder Spider-Man and Superman turned out as well as they did.