No I didn't say Jon attacked first. I was making the point that it is not like the surrendered soldiers just stood there and allowed themselves to be killed. They obviously fought back. My point was they would eventually attack because soldiers aren't going to just watch Dany burn civilians but think they are safe. So Greyworm correctly attacked them first before they came to their senses and attacked because Dany forced everyone's hand. Once she started the massacre, the surrendered soldiers were eventually going to have to fight.
They made a point of showing the Northmen and Dorthraki raping and pillaging. That is in their nature. The Unsullied are more disciplined and frankly they don't have penises so they don't have a need to rape. So I think the intent was in fact to show that they stuck to fighting soldiers while the undisciplined Northmen and Dothraki did not.
I mean if the Unsullied were killing civilians there would really be no reason for the Lords to trust them to attend a meeting as if they took part in murdering civilians then there is no logical reason for Greyworm to have kept Jon alive or not to simply slaughter the Lords at the meeting. In the end he is logical and reasonable. Not only did he spare Jon and the Lords, his final act is to sail to Naath so that he can honor Missandei by protecting her people from slavers. These are not the acts of a commander that would kill women and children for fun. In the end, he killed those soldiers because Dany's attack forced his hand. He executed those soldiers because Dany ordered it. He did not kill civilians, Jon, or the Lords because in the end he is reasonable.