I’m a novice when it comes to X-Men comic lore. As such if I get any info or interpretations here wrong please set me straight.
This is how I’ve come to gradually perceive Jean Grey and think she’s a good and perhaps misunderstood character.
To me, I can sum up Jean as someone who’s experienced great pain and hurt but who is in spite of that a very nice, nurturing and fundamentally empathic person; a little like Sue Storm, though I dunno if I’d call her the ‘Mother’ of the X-Men. Perhaps it is even that pain she experienced so early in her life through her friend’s death that MADE her so empathetic. Through that empathy and her immense power she has this duality of being possibly a great force for destruction or of healing.
She wants to help and heal, but understands that sometimes she has to fight and be destructive (e.g. against evil mutants, Sentinels, etc) and knows to use restraint in pursuit of that. But being both an empathic person and also SO incredibly powerful (at times to a cosmic degree) her capacity for being destructive (even to herself) can be set loose. E.g. she could be profoundly dangerous if you hurt her friends, precisely because her empathy forges such love for them.
In a sense her first major arc as Phoenix and as Dark Phoenix sum up this duality about her; let's put a pin in any retcons later on for a moment.
As originally presented in Uncanny #100-101, when Jean became Phoenix it was explicitly to save her friends. She didn't want to die but was willing to give her life for them, desiring just enough strength to pull that stunt off. And she got that strength and then some. So you had this powerful yet kind person (who was still relatively young and inexperienced) abruptly handed way more power than maybe anyone should have but she still used it (at first) to help. The climax of the 'Phoenix Saga' with the M'kraan crystal (sp?) was fundamentally about Jean using her newly acquired cosmic powers to fix, to heal, something. And she could only do it by being empathic, by reaching out and drawing upon a human emotional connection (to her friend Storm) and forging a connection with a relative stranger (Corsair, the father of the person she loved so there was in a sense an emotional connection there she drew upon). The narration of that moment (visualized beautifully in X-Men the Animated Series ‘The Phoenix Saga Part V) painted the idea of Jean imagining her friends as a tree, a symbol for life and growth and kind of...healing. Appropriate for a Phoenix which represents rebirth and renewal.
But then you get the Dark Phoenix Saga and this very empathic person, is corrupted by someone in a sense taking advantage of her emotions, by tricking her into making emotional connections through which he can then corrupt her and open the floodgates to the awesome power that might be beyond pretty much any mortal to control. And so Jean became a force of explicit destruction. Which is also appropriate because a Phoenix represents death and destruction as well.
I do not know if this is canon to 616, but in X-Men: Grand Design, when Jean's powers first manifest she tried using them to essentially keep her dying friend alive. In X-Men vol 2 #71 the issue starts with Jean using her telepathy to cleanse the X-Men’s home of the negative psychometric impressions left by Bastion and his Zero Tolerance operation. Jean Grey was trying to remove some of the pain and hurt inflicted upon her home and friends, but doing it quite literally. Both of which would go some way in supporting what I'm trying to say about who Jean is, as far as her having great power which she can and wants to use as a force for healing.
Appropriately for Xavier's first student (arguably the first X-Man), she in a sense is a microcosm of mutantkind and of the X-Men specifically. The X-Men can be destructive, sometimes HAVE to be destructive in defence of themselves, their people and of wider humanity. But Xavier also wanted them to be a force for healing and growth between mutants and humans and in truth that was their bigger endgame goal. So Jean being his first student, a founding X-Man, at times a team leader and the most powerful X-Man (usually) is symbolically appropriate.
Maybe I am stretching here, but I also think that Jean’s pain and the duality of her being a force of potentially great destruction or healing plays into what to my limited experience are some of her most significant relationships.
Professor X: Obviously she believes in his dream and wants to see it through, I outlined the connection above.
Wolverine: A stretch perhaps because it wasn’t established off the bat, but the idea of Jean being a healer to others (noticeably her first interaction with Logan is as his doctor in X-Men 2000) connects her to Logan who is a literal self-healer due to his powers. You also have someone who has been through immense pain similar to her and possesses incredible potential for destruction he practices to (not always successfully) control. In a sense they both have dark and terrible ‘alter egos’, for Jean Dark Phoenix and Logan his berserker rage where animal imagery is used to personify their states of being. The Phoenix is after all presented as a raptor bird of prey and Logan is literally named after an aggressive predatory animal. Yet Logan can also be a positive force for others as a teacher, protector or even as a someone capable of taking life to ‘balance the scales’. I recall Mark Millar’s run where he murders Gorgon and his Hand/HYDRA gang in part to provide some measure of closure for the parents of a boy they murdered to get to him.
Storm: At least during Claremont’s early tenure on X-Men he was presenting Storm as a pseudo Mother Nature style Goddess who even maintained plants in the mansion. The plants themselves demonstrate Storm as capable of care and nurture (her motherly relationship with Kitty bears this out) like Jean; so she’s connected with a form of healing and growth. Through her powers though, she and Jean also (in different ways) possess an immense capacity for destruction and healing, Storm’s being perhaps more direct and physical and Jean’s more subtle and ethereal. Both are also connected to primordial forces though, Storm the elements of the weather and Jean, obviously, with fire.
Cyclops: They both experienced great pain and loss in their youth. They both possess immense destructive power. Cyclops however is tormented because his powers are in a sense broken, he is supposed to be able to control his optic blasts but that same youthful pain and loss led to him being unable to. And by extension he is himself a person with a lot of mental issues (not necessarily outright mental illnesses though).
He is someone who can be emotionally distant because of these issues as well as his broken abilities, at least to some extent, leading him to be distant in terms of physical intimacy too. They say the eyes are the window into the soul and Cyclops’ powers mean he can neither look upon anyone’s eyes/soul without a red filter nor can anyone see into his. He can feel but in a sense is reluctant of doing so (which leads to at times more detached yet pragmatic leadership).
Jean Grey however is a great counterbalance to Cyclops.
Her powerset in a sense ‘fixes’ (or heals) Scott or else bypasses his handicaps. Her telekinesis is so powerful she can hold back his otherwise typically destructive power.* Even without that, her telepathy allows her a window into Cyclops’ mind/soul in a way she couldn’t have if she wasn’t a telepath and he had complete control of his powers. Her empathy and mutual experiences of loss, pain, of bearing the burden of being potentially destructive allow her to emotionally connect to this man who finds it understandably difficult to open up and gives them both an avenue to share their baggage. Hopefully this, at least at times, can make Cyclops more well rounded and able to emotionally connect to others.**
If nothing else Cyclops ability to be somewhat detached and thus more pragmatic and Jean’s ability to emotionally connect and be empathetic mean that as far as leadership is concerned, they are at their best united than apart.
Having said all that stuff about Jean, the reason why I think I and perhaps other people like her is because in a sense she represents a different more subtle form of heroism and is herself an unconventional example of it.
*I’ve heard she can even temporarily fix Scott’s mental injury so he just sees normally but have never seen this in a comic, only (specifically from the Dark Phoenix Saga) her literally controlling the blasts so they don’t shoot out at all. Love to know if she can do more than that.
**Not saying Scott was ever and unfeeling monster, just that he seemed to have a certain distance to everyone else in my reading experience, partially due to the burden of leadership.
Also as far as making Scott more well rounded, this is perhaps a stretch but skipping around a lot of 1990s comics where Cyclops and Jean are together prior to ‘The Twelve’ he seemed more open and comparatively upbeat (I recall him and Beast goofing off in the wake of ‘Onslaught’ or something right?) next to his attitude after he and Apocalypse were separated (by Jean, so again she was acting as a healing force) and he and Jean drew more distant, their marriage fell apart and then later she died and he began dating Emma.
I’m not even trying to diss the Scott/Emma relationship. I’m just observing...he was less upbeat and more stoic and seemingly distant than he was in the 1990s. Maybe one or both of those are OOC and I just don’t realize so again please tell me.