Choose From 1 of 4 Crazy Power Sets

[Shai-Hulud]

The Plot Gods show up, Trickster Coyote in tow.

They announce they’re going to give you a choice from among one of four power sets. As a bonus, you get restored to full health, and if you want it, transformed into your ideal body and de-aged to nineteen years old.

The Plot Gods make it so that no one recognizes your body as different from before. This includes any body changes from the power sets; that is, people see your unusual features, but everybody who already knows you will remember you as always having had them.

If you don’t choose a power set, Trickster Coyote, who knows your entire life history, chooses for you.

“I’ll make the best choice ever!” Trickster Coyote says, smiling and drooling uncontrollably. “Just trust me. You do trust me don’t you?”

The Plot Gods also tell you that you aren’t the only person getting enhanced. Every Rumbler that responds gets one of these power sets:

* Pre-Crisis Daxamite: You have absolute control over your powers, even when asleep or unconscious, including involuntary functions. This prevents things like destroying mountain ranges with a sneeze or reducing your wife to subatomic particles when you make love to her. As a bonus, you have Querl Dox-level knowledge of biochemistry and chemistry, and can concoct an anti-lead serum. The serum only lasts for 24 hours, but your body never rejects it, no matter how long you live. You can make seven days of serum in one hour from household chemicals and a high school chemistry set. After a week in storage, the serum degrades. You also get a lifetime supply of indestructble clothing. Limitations: Lots of lead on Earth, gotta keep that serum going.

* Toon Force Sailor: You get the powers of default Popeye, plus the ability to summon a can of spinach from any convenient location: pockets, inside a hat, your corncob pipe, etc. Your spinach enhances you to full Popeye levels for the duration. Limitations: This is Toon Force, so you have to be at least somewhat funny or amusing within the confines of 20th century American cartoons for your powers to be fully operative, especially at the spinach empowered levels. Also, your forearms become huge, less so if you’re female, but still noticeably even in that case. Each forearm has an unremoveable anchor tattoo, although you can change the design at will (always an anchor though).

* Xemnu the Titan: You gain all the powers of Xemnu the Titan, including strength, durability, telepathy, mind control and telekinesis. Xemnu also possesses serial immortality, so if your body is destroyed you can possess and transform a new one. You also have all of Xemnu’s extraterrestrial STEM knowledge, so you can build FTL starships. Limitations: You gain a comic book physique (you might enjoy this). If you’re a guy, you grow to six-foot-nine, women to six-foot-three. All the hair on your body turns snow white, and the hair on your head grows extremely long, down to your mid-back, at least, and regrows each night if you cut it. Guys grow long snowy beards overnight, but you can still shave.

* Astral Mastery: You can astrally project anywhere in the universe, and to whatever other dimensions we actually have (hell, heaven, realms where souls are reincarnated, whatever). You never get lost, having Silver Surfer level navigation. You can summon a sphere of translucent white light that protects against demons and evil spirits as powerful as MU Mephisto. While you’re projecting, your body goes into suspended animation after the fashion of Stone Boy (Legion of Subs). You can influence your dreams and use them for creative insights into any discipline or problem (art, music, science, personal issues, etc). Limitations: You get no offensive powers.

Bonus question: It's not just you getting empowered here. Does the fact that other Rumblers are also gaining powers influence your choice in any way?

[Nik Hasta]

I don't trust myself with any form of telepathy whatsoever, so Xemnu powers are out.

Popeye powers are just... y'know, kind of lame? I guess Astral Mastery since there's no real downside to it or risk of me messing up other people.

Daxamite stuff would be fun but also very ready for me to make myself a dictator.

Astral Mastery, I guess?

[Nschornhorst]

I'd go with Toon Force Sailor. I don't like the forearm/anchor stipulation, but no offense to Popeye, better than his face... plus, toonforce powers are a 'yup' for me.

[Ptrvc]

Popeye powers. Easy.

In no small amount because the nature of toonforce will likely smack me the **** down anytime I stay to the corruption that superpowers would bring me.

[Sharpandpointies]

Popeye power seems like the logical one for living forever and making certain that anyone I really want to join me can also live forever.

Forearms are dumb, but I can use spinach to punch them into submission.

[Cthulhu_of_R'lyeh]

Also, you know.

Popeye was a reality warper, wasn't he? As long as you're 'funny' you can basically do whatever you want

[Shai-Hulud]

Forearms are dumb, but I can use spinach to punch them into submission.

If you're going to get into the habit of abusing your own forearms, I have an experiment for you.

You can remove one of the 'unremovable' anchor tattoos to find it becomes a giant anchor with a long chain. Then you choose a star, whirl it around, hit your target, and pull it down to earth.

"I made a wish on you and fair and square, 'first star I see tonight,' said the poem and everything, and you didn't grant it! I oughta...."

"Alright, alright," says the first star you saw that night, "It's granted. Now lemme go. It's danergous down here!"

A wish a night.

Anyway, the anchor tattoos will always reappear on your forearms, and your forearm muscles themselves will always 'pop out' again eventually, probably when you're asleep, but possibly at inconvenient moments, like just after you've fastened cuff-links on your dress shirt.

But there's potential wish-granting there, and you owe it to your forearms, so maybe they're not so dumb...?

If you're gonna choose Popeye powers ya gotta get into that Toon Force spirit....

[Sharpandpointies]

That's fine as long as I can bludgeon them into submission every now and then.

[Sol_M]

None of these are bad though Popeye is obviously the best in terms of what you can do.

The real question though, is why do the Plot Gods always offer to de-age you to 19 years old? Why always 19, specifically? :P

[Shai-Hulud]

None of these are bad though Popeye is obviously the best in terms of what you can do.

Popeye is a cartoon character with the essence of a cartoon character, a cartoon viewpoint. He's eternally a child.

Being a toonforcer with a human point of view, which is essentially tragic, would not be easy. Especially as you grew older and wiser.

The real question though, is why do the Plot Gods always offer to de-age you to 19 years old? Why always 19, specifically? :P

Full powers of youth and health with a mature body and mind? (Actually, the brain keeps maturing until 24, but 19 is close enough if you have all your added experience.)

[Sol_M]

Popeye is a cartoon character with the essence of a cartoon character, a cartoon viewpoint. He's eternally a child.

Being a toonforcer with a human point of view, which is essentially tragic, would not be easy. Especially as you grew older and wiser.

Ah, I didn't read the stipulation as being reduced to the mental and emotional capabilities of a child, just that you'd have to be funny and cartoonish, which is pretty independent of how old you are. It's more about your personality, than anything.

Also, is Popeye really a child? I always thought he was simple, but not necessarily childlike. What qualities of his seem inherently childlike to you?

Either way, none of the options are bad, so you could go with whatever you were comfortable with.

Full powers of youth and health with a mature body and mind? (Actually, the brain keeps maturing until 24, but 19 is close enough if you have all your added experience.)

Fair enough. I was curious about it, is all.

[Nschornhorst]

Popeye is a cartoon character with the essence of a cartoon character, a cartoon viewpoint. He's eternally a child.

Being a toonforcer with a human point of view, which is essentially tragic, would not be easy. Especially as you grew older and wiser.



Full powers of youth and health with a mature body and mind? (Actually, the brain keeps maturing until 24, but 19 is close enough if you have all your added experience.)

Well, cartoon character isn't really a blanket statement... I mean Mickey Mouse =/= Bugs Bunny =/= Daria Morgendorffer =/= Homer Simpson =/= Droopy, etc. etc.... That being said, I guess it would be up to the individual how 'mature' they would be, but with maturity, maybe they'd be less inclined to go all out with their power? I'd think Sol_M is right. I agree that Popeye isn't really childlike... neither are many other toons/toonforcers... naive, perhaps, or less intellectual, but not necessarily child-like.

[Shai-Hulud]

Well, cartoon character isn't really a blanket statement... I mean Mickey Mouse =/= Bugs Bunny =/= Daria Morgendorffer =/= Homer Simpson =/= Droopy, etc. etc.... That being said, I guess it would be up to the individual how 'mature' they would be, but with maturity, maybe they'd be less inclined to go all out with their power? I'd think Sol_M is right. I agree that Popeye isn't really childlike... neither are many other toons/toonforcers... naive, perhaps, or less intellectual, but not necessarily child-like.

I was think 20th American cartoons, specifically of the WB type. Not later stuff, which is all over the place.

'Naive' is a fair word. So is 'simple.' Same essence, as far as I was concerned.

The point is, as a mature adult, you'll always be "forcing it." Thinking, "Yeah, now I've got to put on my act, think like a cartoon." You're never really yourself, is the point, and facing mature issues could be a problem.

[Nik Hasta]

I mean, in the 90s Popeye got married and had a kid and started running a small business. From what I recall of the show, he was generally the mature foil to his rambunctious son.

He's perfectly capable in canon of being a mature man.