X-Terminators #1 Review/Spoilers - Heartbreaker

[Rift]

We open to Dazzler roller-skating through blood as she blasts some monsters.

Okay, you're probably wondering how she got here. The story rewinds a bit, to when Dazzler dumps her boyfriend, Alex, of two months for cheating on her. And he didn't even cheat on her with someone worth it, like Hellion! Furious, she kicks him out of her place, smashes his record collection, and calls Jubes for a girls' night. Jubes invites Boom-Boom along.

The girls meet at a dumpy dive bar, where Boom-Boom encourages the duo to lighten up. This leads to Jubilee playfully roasting her. The waitress gives them some nasty-tasting drinks, and they dance to Dazzler's "&%$@# ALEX DANCE MIX" playlist.

But it turns out the drink was drugged, and Tabi passes out. Dazzler also begins to feel the effects. At this time, Alex and his vampire cronies show up to get revenge. Turns out he's a vampire, which Dazzler didn't know about. He had them drugged so they can take Dazzler somewhere, since he doubted she would go anywhere with him willingly. He refuses to elaborate further, complaining that she never trusts him.

Jubes is quick to act: she breaks a bar stool and shares the legs with Dazzler, so they can use them as stakes. They also have their light powers to mess them up. Unfortunately, Alex has a Lightbringer amulet (something Jubes knows about from her time as a vampire), protecting him from sunlight and their powers. He knocks them out.

Taby wakes up on a raft in some sort of dank, green swamp. Monsters rise out from the watery depths, forcing her to fire at them. She lands a hit in one of the monsters' mouths, causing its head to explode.

Jubilee wakes up, driving a giant-wheeled buggy and handcuffed to the wheel. She's taking part in some sort of derby with a bunch of other people. If they hit any of the barrel obstacles around them, they explode and take out part of the ground, exposing some sort of starry galaxy underneath.

Dazzler wakes up in a enormous, dark labyrinth, being chased by green monsters. While she gets away, she monsters are light-sensitive; using her powers will alert them. While running away from the monsters, she comes across a tiny, blind creature in a cage. Believing it to be bait for the other monsters, she plans to save it. She explodes part of the labyrinth and draws the creatures towards them.

Back to Boom-Boom. She can't escape because any movements alert the monsters. While she puts one of them in a headlock, she thinks on what to do. She realizes that the swamp is emitting methane, which is explosive. So she sends many of her bombs into the water to explode, while she swims away in the opposite direction.

Jubes finds that the other cars can float on the ever-growing starry abyss, but her car can't. Luckily, a blood-soaked Boom-Boom bursts through, pursued by monsters. Boom-Boom climbs in and starts blowing things up. Jubilee is against it, not wanting the holes to grow bigger. But Taby is sure it's all a simulation; she blows a hole through and wall, allowing them to cross into the labyrinth.

Dazzler and the monster reach a dead-end. She apologizes to it before tossing it into the air and lighting up the monsters. Jubilee mows down the labyrinth walls (and many, many monsters) on the way to Dazzler. By the time the trio reunite, they're all covered in blood. Dazzler grabs the monster as it falls and hops in the car.

The girls ride on, but the breaks have been cut and the accelerator is jammed all the way down. They're in a domed area, with an audience watching over them. Counting on the glass being strong enough to take their blasts, she's crashes car into the dome. It doesn't break, but hey, the car stopped. They all survive, but Boom-Boom barfs.

A voice announces that the trio passed their entry test and won a chance to compete against their most esteemed, prize-winning menagerie beast: Hellion! I mean the Soul-Splitter. A bunch of men in robes march onto the field. But as they approach, they're all cut down by a newcomer: Wolverine (Laura.)

Notes:

• This was stupid, gory, immature and fun. It's great.
• I liked the dialogue here. Everyone's playfully bitchy with each other, but it never feels mean-spirited or hurtful.
• Boom-Boom, to Jubes and Dazzler: "You dumb bitches."
• Jubilee, to Boom-Boom: "You look like if Barbie was a sex addict."
• Jubilee, to Boom-Boom: "Boom-Boom, you like the final stop on a bimbofication spectrum."
• "It's time for the twerkulator."
• Note that the robed dudes, despite being injured and bloodied by Laura, are still clearly alive. Well, except for one guy - he's either dead or knocked out.

[Dementia5]

Well this was just a hell of a lot of fun!

Favourite scenes:

Dazz: “Jubilee, what are you doing right now?!”
Jubes: “My best, Alison! Okay?! My %&$#@ best!”
————————————-
Tab: “There! In the maze, three o’clock! Dazzler!”
Jubes: “That’s twelve o’clock.”
Tab: “No, it’s Dazzler! I swear!”
Jubes: “Put on your seatbelt, idiot.”

Also, Laura in the last panel.

[Kingdom X]

Yeah this was stupid but also gave me a chuckle. I read an interview where Leah said she needed an emotional palette cleanser after X-Factor and Trial of Magneto, and this definitely tracks. I'll definitely pick up the next issue.

[jwatson]

I thought this was fun. I definitely am in for issue 2.

[Dream Boy]

Just mindless fun. Love the dynamic between Ali, Jubes, and Tabby even more than I thought I would. I'm ready for issue 2

[Outburstz]

If hot girl summer was a comic book lol

[JB]

Thanks for posting! I agree with everyone, this was a lot of fun with great dialogue and great art. The ladies are hilarious together.

Loved the last page!

[superjosh]

I just wish the impetus of the story wasn't a man dumping Dazz. We can do better!

Also, never been a fan of Williams' dialogue. It's giving boomer (ha!) trying to speak gen z and not even achieving millennial.

[Outburstz]

I just wish the impetus of the story wasn't a man dumping Dazz. We can do better!

Also, never been a fan of Williams' dialogue. It's giving boomer (ha!) trying to speak gen z and not even achieving millennial.

Isn't that pretty much describing Boom Boom?

[Top Hat]

Not sure why it had that large content warning at the start when even the swearing was blanked out. I read this was meant to be a homage to grindhouse cinema, well if it was it was a very PG-13 rated version. The art was far better than the dialogue. Overall pretty disappointing.

[superjosh]

Isn't that pretty much describing Boom Boom?

Ha! If comic book characters are supposed to be timeless, then Tabitha would probably be just above drinking age, making her an actual Gen Z.

[Frobisher]

Ha! If comic book characters are supposed to be timeless, then Tabitha would probably be just above drinking age, making her an actual Gen Z.

I mean, she was a teenager when she was hanging out with the Beyonder and I was probably still at Primary School. It's all very confusing sometimes. Also, isn't the drinking age in the US like a million years old or something to ensure everyone goes completely mental the instant they have access to piss-weak beer?

[Rakurai]

THAT! WAS! AWESOME!
I can't remember having so much fun reading the comics, no heroics, no world saving, just bitches drinking at the bar after shitty break-up.
The snarky comments are gold, reminds me of years my gal pals and I were constantly at bars, drinking, kissing and bitching around.

Shame that Laura was only on last panel, but to be fair I knew that will be the case. Can't wait for issue 2 to see how she will fit in.
The art was gorgeous, I'm in love with art of Carlos Gomez, and the colors were lovely. I'm buying all the issues whenever there will be a chance to do so.

[Ambaryerno]

Shame that Laura was only on last panel, but to be fair I knew that will be the case. Can't wait for issue 2 to see how she will fit in.

Which is kind of the problem, because she doesn't. Neither personality nor power sets, unless the Unipower is coming back at some point.

[davetvs]

Which is kind of the problem, because she doesn't. Neither personality nor power sets, unless the Unipower is coming back at some point.

Why is that a problem? I don't feel like teams have to have complimentary power sets as a rule, and this isn't really a team.

I bought this for the cast but didn't really like it. I can see what Williams was going for but it didn't get there for me, the dialogue felt forced and the whole thing wasn't campy enough to hit. I did like that Jubilee was written like an actual adult and not a teenager or teen mother for once. I'll keep buying it for the cast, hopefully the dialogue improves. You can write bitchy-shady-friendly without sounding fake edgy.