X-Terminators #4 OMEGA LEVEL Review *spoilers*

[ohsnapulon5000]

Ok we jump smack into this crotch rot with a bunch of kink shaming and that's not even cracking the third page. The GALZ have emerged from the clutches of The Collector and I don't even mean figuratively) and find awake to a new horror: A boutique sex shop jail cell where they re being forced by Dov Charney himself to "do their business" from behind the clothing racks or he's gonna bring out the shock collars. Boom and Jubes of course take the point of calling him out on his obv.I,ous. piss fetish and my word I love this comic book.

Dazzler of course has no love lost for this little Lord ManBun who reveals his long defection from Vampire Nation and prizes himself as the buttboy to The Collector, who gives him storage space for his private menagerie that makes the Boltagon harem look butt-fucking-ugly to be honest. Alex clearly has the American Apparel Honeys of the MU stacked where Black-Bolt can't find them. Dazzler takes a moment to note this and does the most Dazzlery NYC shit ive seen her do in a well-since the last issue of X-terminators and marks Alex's ass as a dead one once she gets out. Period Pooh. To make matters funkier- Laura reveals that she not only shares dad's feral tangy body odor but she also has his natural hair growth patterns by busting out of her costume and changing into a breezier more forgiving witch costume.

Naturally, the second someone mentions a nice hot shower- Dazzler's mutant ability to LUXURIATE kicks into overdrive and her determination to survive, bathed, explodes into a furious plan. Noting that HOT SHOWERS are what DAZZLERS DO BEST this little magna cum laude graduate reasons that pipes mean plumbing and boom booms go down the toilet so Boom-Boom must send her bombs there to cause another thing that DAZZLERS DO BEST which is makes massive distraction. The plan works and The Collector pulls his thumb out of someones eye socket long enough to open the air lock to evacuate Alex's stock of monsters who now bravely jam the Airlock with their durable otherworldly bodies.

Inside a hatch, Wolverine who knows this ship well inputs a total breach in Krakoan security by entering the coordinates to "Great Baseball Fields of Yore" or whatever, causing a warehouse worth of hot nubile SPLASH PAGE led by an increasingly robust Dazzler (who is soooo beyond the point of being ready to get her freak on) to fall right on top of a game of baseball between the new Mutants and Betsy's Knights and STORM/ HADARI FRIGGIN YAO because she has time to play baseball.

Dazzler quite simply is ready to buck. she's squeezing her toes together she's so ready to beat that ass. she's dropping the hard "G" sound off the end of her words! she has no time for this trial or the arrival of the Vampire Nation led by Dracool himself! Dazzler's thinking about a HOT SHOWER in her near future thats going to unleash her VIBE powers and all that stands between her and it (and the combined justice for all the women she just saved) is her roller skates smashing into Vampire Skull! she's delirious with COMFORT! WHY CAN"T DRACULA JUST SEE THAT ALEX AND GANG IS A DEFECTOR AND THUS SENTENCE HIM WITH TREASON AND LET DAZZLER HAVE HER ROLLER DISCO BLOODBATH?! ----OH WAIT! HE DOES AGREE TO IT! YAAAAY!

The last scene we see was great because I happen to be a lover of actual art, which this clearly must be.- SKATES ON, BLUE EYE MAKEUP ON, we see a feathered coif loom a shadow on Alex and his date. it is THE DAMN DAZZLER granted amnesty to kick Ah'Lex's mf ass, with like 20 hotties behind her. ready to do the same. END

***I don't even really know how to feel other than this is what I wanted the end of Bendis' storyline for Mystique to be more like. I' m glad I'm finally getting a chance to see something of that character that I love about the fireball that is Dazzler rise to the occasion without too much simpering over it. DAZZLER IS A BADDIE! I hope this is a new precedent for the character because it really is her at her best and the other gals are right there with her. I'll be sad to have to look for any of them in a comic book after this wraps. Here's hoping they show up and in more serious roles during Fall of X! 4.5 0f 5***